There Once Was a Girl, Who Had a Little Curl...

Friday, April 11, 2014

...right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good
she was very very good.
But when she was bad
she was HORRID.
That sticks with me, this nursery rhyme I learned when I was a child.

It reminds me of ME. I am both very very good and HORRID, mostly now swinging from very very good in one week to HORRID the next. Very very good = tracking and staying within calorie range by eating a healthy variety of foods and getting in the proper exercise and losing weight to HORRID = not enough water, freggies are something foreign, sleeping very little because I stay up to watch TV in order to drown out too many thoughts, tracking intake has no place in my world, and exercise is only the forced walk of the pooch.

This week I went to HORRID and jumped off the healthy wagon again and into the muck to feed my anxiety with crap. At least now I can more clearly see when I am jumping off and hitting the dirt. So here's my approach this time around.

I have written down everything that is making me anxious, which really just centers on many personal and work activities and emotions that are on my calendar, so to speak. So I took a nearly daily approach to write down these events and how I will approach the planning for and execution of such events. I have a few more details to write down to finish my list with as clear a vision as I have right now.

I have two more major items to add to this two-month outlook:
1) A menu.
2) An exercise plan.

Adding a menu means adding a weekly dinner menu along with a grocery list and a plan for when to prepare the food. Beyond that, I'm going to add the kind of menu where I map out what I am going to eat for each meal and snack nearly every day so I can stick to that plan and not let my emotions and anxiety raid the cabinets.

The HORRID in me chickened out with my weigh-in this week (as seen on the right side of my home page). No point in seeing a failure on the scale when I know what I did to myself this week.

All of you have been so wonderful in offering advice for how to deal with anxious eating. And 68Anne told me to re-read my last blog when I am feeling a bit "off" just to remind me that I can recoup and do the right thing. So I thank you for all you do to support me and remind me that I can be successful. Thanks again for your support and ideas and advice. You all are AWESOME!

Peace Out,
AndreaG89 (aka Jeckyll & Hyde????)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sorry so late but that's me in general lately - your too lovely to be horrid and a little hard on yourself, look at all that you do ! But I agree that journaling and pin pointing all that emotional garbage that just kept me stuck for so long works . Meal planning too - DH returned home the other day and my stress level and all that pressure fell like a 20 pound loss - also freeing my time for friends ! Thanks for all your support - I think you Rock - hugs Karen emoticon
    1826 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/23/2014 11:08:53 AM
  • KONRAD695
    It does pay off. Even when you think all these ups and downs, the trials of Will against a sweet tooth. It will all pay off one day.
    You will get the weight where you want it.
    You will keep exercising.
    You will succeed with maintenance.

    All because you toughen yourself up yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

    Keep going at it. The goal is just down the road.
    1833 days ago
    Wow! It's me too! I love that rhyme. You can do this. Everyone on here can, that's why we're hear, to take some action. Don' emoticon t forget to praise yourself for all the great days you have to
    1837 days ago
    Sounds like you're making strides and implementing a helpful plan. How about not buying items that tempt you to fall of the wagon and become "horrid". I heard that rhyme from my mother every time she would pincurl my hair. Oh, but that was long, long ago.
    1837 days ago
  • 68ANNE
    You have taken steps to figure out your weaknesses and deal with them.

    Remember a woman is only helpless while her nail polish is drying
    1838 days ago
  • KAREN608
    I remember that rhyme! It is true, isn't it. We can be so good and so bad.

    Writing things down and dealing with your stress - planning exercise and menu! All good.

    Lately my main exercise is walking/jogging in place as I can do that anywhere and it destresses me. If you ever walk into a restroom and I am in there jogging in place don't be surprised. It is so easy to do anywhere and just a few minutes here and there adds up in a day.
    1838 days ago
    I so the same exact thing! You are not alone. ICEDEMETER is right, 'Progress not perfection". Interestingly enough that is the name of my Alanon group too.

    Have you found that fitness time helps with your anxiety? It does with mine. Then I also end up wanting to get to bed on time better when I've put in my fitness time.

    We are our own worst enemy - kick that enemy to the curb and tell her that she isn't welcome back!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1838 days ago
    "Progress, not perfection." Right? Right.

    Sounds to me like you're making great progress - that idea of writing everything down and making a plan to deal with it all is pure genius! Just don't forget to plan in a bit of "spoil Andrea" time each day - whether to meditate, or relax, or whatever makes you feel good... You've earned it!

    (And I *might* even forgive you for planting that nursery rhyme in my head - you KNOW that it'll be on repeat all day....ARGHHH!)
    1838 days ago
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