I Swear I'm Not A Drama Queen
Wednesday, April 09, 2014
I swear, I'm not one of those people who likes to make some drama. Before February, I'd never had a panic attack. I have had two nervous breakdowns in the span of about a decade, but that's not quite drama in the big crazy sense, is it?
But right now, I still can't get anything... I just, urggg! I nearly cried at the gym. People talk about the mid-life crisis, and now the quarter-life crisis, I'm kind of having like, a third-life crisis. I'm not in the middle or first quarter of my life, but I'm about a third of the way through. And I'm freaking the eff out.
I don't have a dream job anymore. I have nothing I want to do that could create any real income.
I don't know how I'll pay my bills this month, or now we're going to pay our taxes next week.
That's it. That's all there is to say. No elaboration, no rambling on. I'm paralyzed and the best anyone can say to me is "You'll get through this" or "I'm here if you need me". For an action-oriented person who is completely crippled, those are just words to me.
Right now I feel like a hopeless loser and I have no answers.