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April Week 1 Finito!

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Can't believe we've already gotten a week done of April. This year is simultaneously going by too quickly and too slowly. Too slowly because I still haven't gotten a spring break yet! I'm going to b*tch to whoever will listen to me about the spring semester schedule being so effed up. And then I'm going to find out who was responsible and I'm going to stab them in the liver. THEY'RE A DEAD MAN!!! I still have two weeks until I finally get a break from this massive stress-fest of a semester! Then, when I return from spring break, there is only 3 more weeks of school left. SO STUPID! In a semester that has long periods of time without holidays (the only one/two get grouped together in early February), I need a good break at about week 8 or 9 in a 16 week semester. We're getting ours right after week 13. They may has well just not have a spring break, let us keep on truckin' and get out a week early for summer. Geez. Am I burnt out? Oh, just a little.

Anyway, I had some successes in the first week. Mostly with weight and exercise.

emoticon I weighed in on April 1st as a starting point. Scale read 186lbs, which was actually better than I thought I'd be seeing. Still, not totally desirable. Anyway, on Saturday (the 5th?) I weighed in just to get back into the habit of Saturday weighing. The scale read 186lbs. Yay! I didn't gain anything! And I really didn't expect to lose anything in 5 days, either.

emoticon I'm starting back with just walking on the treadmill. The first day was a slow pace (at least compared to where I was.) It was also almost 10 o'clock at night. And my allergies were raging. But, I got in 60 minutes of continuous walking and I was glad I did it. Same for day 2. Day 3 I found myself needing to up the intensity as my heart rate was below my lower range. Like I was sitting down or something. So, I dug out my speed intervals note and did those. Super glad I did. Got my heart rate up to within range and kept me from getting bored. Burned a decent amount of calories. Day 4 I played volleyball with my friends from church. It was super fun! I always get nervous when I play sports or whatever in front of other people. Why do those childhood fears of humiliating oneself or letting down the team or looking stupid/fat/lazy/week stick around into adulthood? But, I made myself suck it up and just enjoy the day. There were lots of laughs and good times to be had. Got in a lot of good movement, worked up a bit of a sweat, hurt my wrist a little but not as badly as I thought, and burned me some calories while getting in my fitness minutes.

emoticon Nutrition is, once again, the rough spot for me. Not only do I have a tendency to binge/overeat when I'm stressed (and have you seen my schoolwork load?!), but I also observed- retrospectively- that I do the same thing when I'm tired. Unfortunately for me, I'm pretty much tired all the time. Not because I'm not sleeping enough... most nights I am, but because I'm taking benadryl fro my allergies and that makes me sleepy. I wish I could take something else, but my body doesn't respond to other antihistamines anymore. Usually not sleepy enough to fall asleep, but sleepy enough that I have no energy or brain power for a few hours. Also, seems my willpower goes into hibernation with my energy and cognition. I think that's part of it... the other part may be my body trying to get energy any way it can and since sleep isn't usually an option in the middle of the day, it demands food.

The other part I mentioned last time was not having anything healthy in the house to eat or snack on. I remedied that just a little bit this weekend and got some fruit/veggies from the store. That way I can snack on a tangelo instead of potato chips. Add a sliced apple to my oatmeal. Munch on strawberries with my Greek yogurt.

That will help for now, but it won't really help the underlying condition. Exercising the willpower to resist, to recognize tiredness for what it is (not hunger)... that's going to be hard. Very hard for me. I know it can be done. I'm strong enough to do it. I know it's not going to be perfect and I'll screw up some days... probably most days. But, if I keep trying, I'll conquer it eventually, little by little. I just need to figure out how.

Anyway, it's freaking midnight... I should wrap this up and hit the pillow. Most days I just can't seem to get everything done in a timely fashion.

Obligatory photo:

Louie gets a shaved belly rub! He's finally cone-of-shame free and able to meander throughout the house more.

My friend shared this blog article today, and I'm not a Biggest Loser fan, but I thought this was brilliantly written! Oh, and language warning.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You're taking the necessary steps. Now get healthy and keep taking those steps. You know you can do it!
    2589 days ago
    Hey, you...I wanted to say "Kiddo, get off the pity wagon" (oops I guess I did) but that's not very supportive and I want you to know that I think
    emoticon .

    I skimmed the biggest loser article your shared and the important message that stuck out to me was "attitude". I know this personally. Its everything and it is THE only thing we truly have control over. It makes all the other things possible.

    I know you are tired, and sick, and stressed out to the max, but you are on a vicious merry-go-round - I know it isn't a fun ride. I ache to take some of the load off you but as my Mom used to say "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride". Now that never made much sense to me, but I know she meant stop talking and start doing.

    Just one other thing, my friend (I hope still after you read this) - you can do it, but you can't do it all. Don't be so hard on yourself. Breathe, ask for His strength, and seek the "joy" of each circumstance.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2592 days ago
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