Saying goodbye to my namesake
Monday, April 07, 2014
My aunt, Adra Dawn Rix Thurman, left this world yesterday afternoon after 45 minutes in the ER. She was a warrior who fought uterine and ovarian cancer for YEARS.
A month ago, she kept asking my mother when she was coming to visit her for a couple of weeks. We now know that she was waiting for her 2 final wishes to come true. The first was to have her 2 estranged children stand in a room with her and not fight with each other This happened the first weekend my mother was there. The other wish was to have quality time with my mother, her best friend and younger sister, and enjoy the time they had. They visited antique shops to look around, went to see some of the gardens in the local area, and just be with each other.
On the morning that my parents were due to leave to visit yet another uncle in the area, my aunt took a turn for the worse. She bloated up, had severe abdominal pain, mom said it even hurt her to burp. She was also running a fever. So my parents rescheduled their departure so mom could be there when hospice came in. She was immediately rushed to the ER & 45 minutes later she was gone. It was so fast no one even knows the cause of death.
Thankfully, my mother & aunt have been going through her personal effects to decide who the items would go to and had prearranged her own memorial.
In her last 3 weeks of life, she smiled and laughed and even left her walker in the car when my father took them out places. Mom said it was the calm before the storm and she knew it was coming. My aunt kept asking when she would come, as we all believe she wanted her favorite person with her when she left us.
I am so very sad for my mother, but very proud of her strength. The funeral is set for Thursday and then my family will come home to me on Saturday. There will be no more trips to Louisiana. They will drive straight through it to go to TX to see my dad's brother and my Crazy Aunt Kathy, whom I just adore.
I have prayed more this week than I have in years. When daddy called me crying & told me it was "that time" and they were at the ER and were told she might have a ruptured bowel, I hung up and prayed that the pain would end for her & that she would pass quickly and painlessly with my mother holding her hand. My uncle arrived an hour later to pick up the "funeral clothes" as he left last night with my other aunt & uncle to arrive today. When he came in, he hugged me and told me she had passed. It was less than an hour that I spoke to my father. So I would like to believe that God listened to me begging for peace and took her when I asked for his mercy.
I am still crying and will for some time, but I know she is now with the man she truly loved, but wasn't allowed to marry. I know that my grandmother is probably holding her & griping at her at the same time, and I know my aunt is giving her father a piece of her mind. ;-)
I had entertained the idea of changing my legal name to Angela Adra Dawn Ritter to always memorialize her. Then just two days ago I realized I was already halfway there. My initials are ADR... I just needed the final A. I told my aunt I could be Angela Dawn Ritter the Asshat, but a better suggestion came from a friend... Angela Dawn Ritter, the Angel. Making my initials ADRA. So I will carry that with me forever.
I'm trying to be strong but each time I feel like I can get back on track, I get hit with another punch to the gut. Even though I know she's in a better place now, as cliche as it sounds, it's the truth.
But I needed to get this written down & put out into the universe so she would know how much I love her and what a wonderful sister she was to my mother. Now I need to remember to pray for my living family every day to keep them healthy and with me on this Earth, until God calls for them. I just hope they aren't tortured with cancer as my loving aunt.
Peace, Love, and Prayers for my SparkFamily, and relatives,