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The Scale Never Lies: The Hard Reality of Weight Gain

Friday, April 04, 2014

It doesn’t matter how hard I work out (I didn’t this week, only 182 fitness minutes so far), it’s all about what I eat. Eating a second meal after dinner and/or inhaling an entire box of cheese nips will only make my belly bigger and my ability to fit semi-comfortably into my 22s again. Even when I read (which is a passion of mine), I feel like I HAVE to eat something. It’s ridiculous, but it’s my reality.

Unfortunately, I’m back to a weight that I haven’t seen in over 2 years. I’ve got to accept it; accept that I’ve hit a major setback and that if I really want to be thinner I’ve got to work for it. I worked my butt off (literally) during 2011-2012 and I had a 100lb loss to show for it. I am now looking at 237 square in the face, not believing what I see in the mirror when I wake up in the morning. Old pictures from during that time when I was around 190 and a size 12 make me yearn to be back there. Looking at my favorite size 12 dress was torture this morning as I tried to find something that wouldn’t showcase my belly. As badly as I want to lose the weight I just don’t know if I have the mental strength to restrict myself to get back to under 199. I feel like I’ve tried all that I can and even though I had lost 6lbs in March, it was restriction and over 90 minute workouts that did it. I was exhausted and friggin’ hungry ALL OF THE TIME. Maybe I have no idea of what I’m doing, maybe I haven’t been doing the right things all along which made me gain my weight back. So many questions, so much to think about. I’ve even gone as far as to consider weight loss surgery (again) I’m at such a loss. I’m frustrated SparkBuddies, and that scale doesn’t lie.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SIMONEKP
    You're right that nutrition is king, if you're a volume eater then work on incorporating lower calorie foods so that you can have more of it.
    1527 days ago
  • RUNNER4LYFE
    So much good advice, B. Its a very hard journey. You dont have to go it alone. We are here for you! emoticon
    1527 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    I am sorry that you have been struggling but you are at a place where so many of us here have been. I lost 121 lbs and gained 78 back so I know what you are going through. That mental side is probably even harder than the physical side. Trying to imagine everything you put yourself through to lose that weight and you question how you did it and question even more if you have it within you to do it again. Well, as someone who lost 173 lbs after gaining 78 back will tell you, HECK YES YOU CAN! It won't be easy but know that it CAN be done!
    1534 days ago
  • TRAVELSWITHHUCK
    So sorry you're struggling, Miss B. :(
    I'm sending strength and good thoughts your way. I'm here for you.

    emoticon
    xoxo
    Courtney
    1534 days ago
  • DDOORN
    You speak ABSOLUTE TRUTH! Re; "It doesn’t matter how hard I work out, it’s all about what I eat."

    I fell under the spell and myth of working out to justify my food intake and finally this past December I decided ENOUGH of this, because I had re-gained too much weight and made a commitment to be vigilantly mindful of my food choices and to track EVERYTHING so that I could improve on my food choices.

    The way cool thing about becoming more cautious & diligent about food is that I no longer needed to be so OCD about workouts. A day could pass without cardio without any panic over gaining weight...because when it comes to weight minding our food totally RULES!

    Working out is terrific for losing INCHES, toning, reducing blood pressure, reducing cholesterol and improving feelings of well-being. But don't be fooled: workouts are NOT THE ANSWER to losing weight. Zip the lip and track the snack! Onward! You can DO THIS!

    Don
    1535 days ago
  • CANNIE50
    My only thoughts are actually questions...are you getting enough sleep? Are you staying hydrated? Are you being as kind to yourself as you would be to me, or anyone else who came to you with the same situation that you are in? Gaining weight, carrying around excess weight, growing out of cute clothes - all that STINKS, for sure. But there is far more to you than what can be measured in clothing sizes or on a scale.
    1536 days ago
  • TINAJANE76
    Oh hon, do I feel for you. I've totally been where you are and understand how frustrating it is to be dealing with weight gain when you've recently enjoyed such great success. I know all of our experiences are different, but I've noticed that my physical hunger seems to be a much stronger force when I'm going through times that are emotionally tough. I went through a patch like that this past fall and winter where I always seemed ravenous in spite of the fact that I knew I was eating enough to satisfy my real physical hunger. I wanted to work on losing some weight I had gained on my summer vacation, but I realized that I wasn't in the right place emotionally to be able to do that. So I just focused on staying the same--even if I was staying the same at a higher weight than I would have liked. It was still tough, especially since I wasn't truly happy carrying those extra pounds, but it allowed me push through a difficult time without adding any extra weight gain. As my stress eased up and my frame of mind improved, I found it easier to comply with restricting myself a bit more and the weight did eventually start to come off.

    So maybe now's not the best time for a big weight-loss push for you. Focusing on generally trying to eat more healthily and staying active without the goal of dropping a set amount of weight by a specific time might be a better approach until you're feeling better. At the very least, you won't gain any more weight, which would most certainly be the outcome if you decided to just give up altogether.

    Hang in there, girl, and please feel free to send me a private message if you want to chat.
    1537 days ago
  • POSITIVEHOPE
    I was exactly where you were in December 2013. I had lost 80lbs. and regained 60. Don't doubt yourself. You do know how to lose weight because you already lost 100lbs. You learned a lot of things to achieve that loss. Maybe you are afraid like I was that I'd fail again. You are stronger than you think. You just need more tools this time. This time around, I found a tool that has really helped me that I want to share with you.
    You said you don't understand why you can't seem to stop yourself eating mindlessly in the evening. I struggle with compulsive eating, too. See some of my earlier blogs for more information. I found an amazing tool that I heard about from another Sparker. The link is for a free, little 23 page e-book called "Fighting the Urge" that has been crucial to me in learning how to "reframe" my thoughts and actions when my inner voice urges me to eat when I'm not hungry, or to overeat when I'm hungry. It is well worth your time to read this booklet.
    This tool explains scientific research that explains where those messages come from and helped me find a way to talk back to that inner voice and stop obeying it blindly. I am using this tool to stop mindless eating. It can also be applied to overeating, binging, weighing obsessively and other negative thoughts (I'm too fat, I'll never lose weight etc., why bother).
    When I use the tool and talk back to that inner voice, it just stops. No drama and no willpower needed. It just stops! I don't eat because there is no urge to eat.
    I can actually imagine myself naturally slender and living without the constant battle against that inner voice. What peace.
    Dr. Amy Johnson includes these permissions with the book:
    My intention for this work is that it is widely shared with as many people as possible. Please feel free to reprint, publish, and share any part of this e-book with anyone who you think might benefit from it.
    So here is the link:

    http://dramyjohnson.com/wp-
    content/uploads/2013/12/Fightin
    g-the-Urge_Dr-Amy-Johnson.pdf


    1537 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    Nutrition is a big part. Once you get that under control, then you'll see a change. emoticon emoticon
    1537 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    How can one machine speak so loudly and reduce us to a puddle of frustration? A freakin' machine for cripes' sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I learned that protein keeps me satisfied longer.. like ALdi's Fit and Active mozzarella cheese sticks. Soup is VERY filling,,
    1537 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Just pick one thing (no more than 2) to work on . . . get back to basics. Maybe i's drinking more water, maybe it's tracking food and/or exercise, maybe it's weighing and measuring to get portion control under control . . . whatever it may be.

    You know, one of the first things I had to really get into my brain was that food is medicine. I have to learn what I can about how to use it to nourish my body. That meant reading and getting to those basics listed.

    You can do this, but love yourself.

    Incindentally, I hope this isn't getting too personal, but here goes: Have you had a check up? Maybe there's something physically going on (thyroid problems, diabetes) that is affecting your metabolism. That was what happened to me. FINALLY FINALLY once those issues were addressed, things began to work properly. Well, it's just a thought.

    HUGS and hang in there. You ARE WORTH IT!
    1537 days ago
  • JONICACALDWELL
    Ditto, to all of that, the size-you-want-to -be clothes, the working out like crazy for a month& restictions to only lose 6 pounds, I think we had the same exact March! I am going to go for Month #2 like that, because I can't stand having people see the chubby me. I think we both need to remember, if we get it together, 6 pounds a month is 72 pounds in a year...take care of yourself this weekend! XOX-MamaJ emoticon
    1537 days ago
  • STRONG_SARAH
    I'm sorry you are going through this. I know, just the idea of counting calories when you aren't ready can be exhausting. You have to be in the right frame of mind to do it. How do you get into that frame of mind? That's the million dollar question. Maybe if you start slowly, and eat healthier for a few days you will feel better (don't we always feel better when we are eating right?) and then that healthy feeling will prompt you to continue.
    Good luck!
    1537 days ago
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