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another fail

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

SO I failed out on the 10 day detox. I t was just way to expensive. So I am changing it up a bit. Drinking a Atkins meal replacer for breakfast, less than 6 grams of sugar. Something reasonable for lunch, with me being in school a healthy meal is usually what I buy. For supper a boost for diabetics, since it has less that 6 grams of sugar per drink. I know technically you are suppose to eat 2 meals, but I have the lapband, so that aint going to happen. I wish I brought my macadamia nuts to snack on but I forgot them, as a matter of fact O have nothing healthy to snack on for when I am hungry. I may just have to run to Kroger and buy me some at lunch, that way I am not starving by the time I get home from work tonight. My plan is to go to the gym after school and before work, get me a good workout. I have 2 weeks before the final biggest loser weight in, so I have 2 weeks to kick my butt into gear. I can do this, I can't let anything set me back. It doesn't help that when I am not working at night I am sitting at home. What do you want to do when you are just sitting, eat. Yesterday I grabbed the macadamia nuts and ate them, but then I ate a bowl of engine 2 diet wild berries cereal, ate fish for supper with corn, then ice cream after that. I have decided that I am just going to have to break my daughters heart and tell her no more ice cream, it's to big of a temptation. I was really hungry yesterday, guess it had something to do with me not being able to eat breakfast due to a procedure yesterday morning. I am not sure why I keep letting myself fail at eating better. I know I am what I eat, and that doesn't seem to bother me. I have tried going vegan again, but I keep failing at that to. I have absolutely no will power. THis Friday we are going to Red Robin for my daughter's birthday, I have told myself I will get the grilled chicken bbq wrap, with broccoli, instead of a burger, subbing fries for broccoli. I just need to get my head in the right place and I know I will succeed, just getting it there is the hard part. I have lost so much weight already, knowing I can lose more should just be the motive I need, but somehow it's not. I sometimes wonder if it has something to do with the bipolar, knowing what that is and saying it's understandably why I am the way I am with dieting, it all kind of makes since. Maybe it's time I talked to my doctor and see if she recommends uping my dose are adding something to it, she usually looks at my not caring on the depressive part of bipolar. I just have to make that call and make an appointment.
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