Getting to a better place?
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Well, i made this a post and realized its more of a blog. I lost my 27 year old daughter this past month, and haven't been "right" since. sorry, but that is how i feel. i don't even know that i'm back yet....but this last six months has been awful. the worst was february, when penny died from an overdose. Like so many addicts, she had been clean a while and decided to take "one last" dose. RIP, penny lane. the world will miss you, but no where near as much as your mom and sisters will.
so i'm right at that point where i forget to eat, to sleep.....its a good thing breathing is automatic. apachesteve has been moral support, as well as some other people from that area where sparkpeople intersects with 'in real life'.
My youngest daughter is out for the evening, with her 'fiance'.......scary. she's too young, but youth knows everything. at least she is happy and sees the world in front of her still.
I'm sitting here, in the quiet....won't go into why I'm single again, suffice it to say i'm addicted to bad situations the way my daughter is to heroin. Was. at least i don't have to deal with him, for now.
My son has decided to move his family closer to my home, much closer. He'll be about 2 1/2 hours away instead of 2400 miles, definitely more doable. I can't wait till Easter, when I meet two of the three grandkids by him for the first time. He's got his new job and will be flying out this week to get settled in.
I guess the best I can say about life right now is that I haven't binged and I've only been out for chinese once in about three months. Weight's about the same, but size has changed a LOT, 20's are now on the horizon.
Got a smoothie in front of me: ice, unsweetened almond milk, cocoa powder, 3 strawverries, 3/4 of a banan and some stevia and whey. would;ve added chia seeds but much to my suprise, opened the sealed canister and the top of the jar had been ripped open. Never seen anything like it. but, that's the story of my life lately. Anyway, the smoothie is a bit over 300 calories, certainly acceptable for a middle of the night breakfast, and it seems to cut the carb cravings tremendously. Like the domestic maven says, it's a gooood thign.
blessings to ya'll. hold your kids tight. good night.