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Now, if YOU can get your eating under control...

Friday, March 21, 2014

The other day, my hubby went to his doctor appointment and learned that he gained another 6 pounds. He signed up for some phone coaching and I looked at the brochure and saw that they offered nutrition and activity tracking. So I asked if he was going to use their setup instead of the program we use offline. I was thinking that maybe he'd take some advice from some one other than me because he does not seem to do anything I suggest.

His response was that I knew more than they did (based on a previous visit to the dietician), but if only I could get my eating under control. Excuse me? If I get my eating under control YOU would lose weight?

Ok, I admit I eat a lot of junk food but I do not share it with my husband; we have learned to avoid conflict by keeping our own stash. I do most of the cooking and try to offset my terrible eating by making low-fat, whole food plant based meals, often accompanied by huge salad with lettuce, greens and veggies. I often make extra so there will be leftovers. So if he ate what I cooked, he'd be able to stay within his calorie range needed for him to lose weight. But he often chooses higher fat and more calorie dense foods (eggs, sausage etc.) whenever he eats solo.

I do not accept the responsibility for his weight gain because I do not eat all the right foods. I am so annoyed that he placed the blame on my eating habits and that he won't lose weight until I get MY eating under control.

It makes me wonder if a person never accepts responsibility for their actions and views the consequences as some one else's fault, can they ever change? Because right now I am close to laying the blame on my hubby for my wanting to keep eating everything in sight. I am frustrated but the reality is it is not his fault I am feeling this way because it is simply my reaction to these thoughts that are in my head. It is my decision in how I choose to react to it.

If I lay the blame on someone else then it would be their responsibility to make the change, not mine. What is the benefit in that? It almost seems silly to expect another person to change so you can reach your goal.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Ultimately each one of us is responsible for the food that makes it into our mouths and that's the bottom line. But maybe his comment is making you evaluate your own eating. No it's not your fault that he gained 6 lbs and yes he is using your junk food eating as an excuse to continue that habit himself. Why not take all the excuses away from him? You have said many times that you want to get that under control. Maybe now is the time to do that??!!
    1521 days ago
  • DS9KIE
    emoticon emoticon
    1523 days ago
    It's like the old saying, you can bring a horse to water, but you can't make him drink! My hubby is a snacker, and loves his junk food. At times, it's very hard for me to resisit, and sometimes, I plan my meals so I can sneak a bit of junk food!!
    Just keep cooking healthier choices, and maybe he'll come around.
    1523 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    emoticon You are cooking healthy food. He is responsible for everything he eats.
    1523 days ago
    You are right, he is wrong. It is simple as that. He HAS to accept responsibility for his actions. Total cop out on his part.
    1523 days ago
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