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Thursday, March 20, 2014

Hi Sparkies! I'm BAAAACCCKKK!

Be honest - you missed me, right? :)

This is just a quick note to tell you the reasons that I have returned and just a brief "here's what's up in my life right now" update.

I didn't fall (totally) off the wagon. I've gained about 20 pounds back this winter (a lot of people have - screw you winter!), but for the most part I've actually done a really great job in the past year of maintaining everything that I accomplished with Spark in the first place, not to mention I ran another Half Marathon in New Orleans just over a month ago. Nevertheless, I honestly need a kick in the pants and some of my daily reminders to keep me headed in the right direction right now. I will be damned if I'm going to give up my 100 pounds lost. The additional 30 has waxed and waned, but I'm ready to see it gone and then some this summer. And today is the first day of Spring - so get it!

When I left here, I left a lot of things - including a job that gave me a desk and a computer to be in front of every day. In the world of tracking and blogging, let me tell you how essential a desk job is for me! Despite all the amazing mobile devices, unless I have Spark open on a browser in front of me all day, it's really complicated for me to track and manage. So today I am happy to report that I am back at a desk this week for the first time in MONTHS and I'm feeling like parts of my life are slowly coming back under my control. But here's the best part - it's ALL for me now!

I am living my dream of owning my own company and working for myself one day at a time. I bought the computer I am sitting in front of, and the desk and the chair and the cabinets and heck, this whole office BY MYSELF. (Well, my company did). I am currently working out of the building that will house our theater - construction starts in a couple of weeks. All of this is very exciting and very stressful so I've been binging and stress eating, but I'm managing.

I also moved for the first time in 8 years on March 1st. I am loving my new apartment (there's room in my living room for a bike trainer!) but it's taking me longer than I would have liked to really settle in and make it "home." (Cue more binge eating, stress eating and "McDonalds sounds good cause there's no food in my new house" eating). Mind you - it's also because I'm spending about 4 nights a week with my honey and his honey (his adorable dog Finley - who I think not so secretly gets more excited to see me come through the door than my boyfriend). This guy is the super buff, "sexy nurse" that is pictured with me in my album. Yummy! And heck if it isn't totally motivating to be around a guy who does Crossfit 3 times a week and is training for the Tough Mudder with me in May. And he's motivated by me too. He isn't as much of a runner as I am (or, rather lately, pretend to be). So we have a good system worked out - he helps me in the strength training category and I give him his, running orders.

But here's what really happens when you take a year away from Spark and the warning signs that say it's time to get back to it. This is a reminder list for me of the feelings that are tough to remember when you're fit and active, but are all too familiar when they start to return:

- I get breathy walking up a couple of flights of stairs.
- My pants are tight and I have a bag of "skinny clothes" again - not cool.
- When I'm shopping for new clothes, I have to remind myself that I am NOT a medium shirt anymore, and that sucks.
- When I do work out - OMG major DOMS!
- My arm flags are starting to fill in again. Either way they suck, but I'd rather flappy skin than flabby arms.
- Belly fat. The muffin top has got to go.
- My skin is hating my poor food choices. I'm always broken out.
- I remember what dehydration feels like. Not great. Feels WAY better to drink all your water every day.
- Also feels way better to have the "success" of being on target and checking off all those little Spark boxes every day. It really is an accomplishment.
- I'm not as surefooted anymore. The more you run and walk and workout and work your core, the more balance you have in general. All of a sudden I feel like I'm fumbly again and can't bound up and down sets of stairs like I could without constantly looking down and checking my footing.
- The post-binge carb hangover SUCKS. Yes, a tub of Ben and Jerry's is delicious, but waking up the next morning with cotton mouth is disgusting.
- I'm making excuses, and I'm DIETING! I'm looking for the quick fix, and lord, what an eye opener that is. I'm going to write a bigger blog post about this, but you know it's time to get back to what works when in one month you try all of the following: eating clean, eating only fruit and veggies until dinner, eating protein bars for breakfast and lunch, changing your calorie range every week when you don't get results on the first week (including setting it to a 1200 calorie starvation diet mode that only lasted for one day), and thinking a million times in your head "maybe if I tried THIS, it would work." It won't. We've all been there. Here's what works - doing what you know works. Spark works. This works. And it's slow. DAMMIT it's slow. But it works. So just commit to it, trust in it, and log in every damn day. Check the boxes, make the schedule, negotiate a healthy life for yourself.

So that's why I'm back! And with that - it's time for me to get back to it!

See you all soon :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PJH2028
    Hooray! I'm back here too! And SO glad to read your voice, your story.
    Congratulations on new desk and digs. And… RIGHT tHERE with you on all.

    I'm living in Big Sur, CA -- and I'm generating my own structure every day…which is tough for me… but not letting that story of it being tough dominate. It's DOable

    I'm going to read some more current stuff and would LOVE to stay in touch.
    Coming to Chicago for a visit 5/20-26, then NYC 26-6/1, then back in Chicago 6/2-6/12
    Maybe we can meet.

    1748 days ago
    Well I'm sorry you're struggling with the weight but so glad to hear from you . Lots of big changes in your life, how exciting. I'm looking forward to reading about your new company as it grows and becomes ultra successful.
    1798 days ago
  • JEREMY723
    Welcome back and all the best for a great spring!
    1798 days ago
  • no profile photo DIASTER
    So many of us seemed to have taken the Winter off. Good thing Spring has bolted us back to reality. We do know better but that binge factor seems to get in the way during the Holidays and is so hard to shake . emoticon
    1798 days ago
    Wonderful to have you back here!
    1798 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Glad to see you back and posting !
    1798 days ago
  • SPEEDY143
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1799 days ago
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