ANGRITTER
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints 99,036
SparkPoints
 

I Feel Like I've Let Myself Down and All of You Too.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I am sorry that I have fallen down on the job with the challenges, but I do have a good reason. There are some health issues I am now dealing with that if I had not had the 2 surgeries, I would have never known about. It involves my heart and my thyroid... and it's a convoluted mess.

On a funny note, I did leave the house today to go to Lowe's to pick up No Trespassing signs and KEEP OUT/PRIVATE PROPERTY signs and BEWARE OF DOGS signs. Why? Dinah, my old shoplifting roommate, is getting out of prison in 2 days and I don't want her tripping her felonious arse onto my property.

My parents are not in town. They are with my aunt in Louisiana and mom reports in to me every day and tells me that she is very tired, refuses to take the extra morphine because she wants to be with my mother as much as she can, but its not long before the end will be here. We also just lost my father's cousin, Danny, to lung cancer and he never smoked a cigarette in his life. He had just finished building his 1.5MM house on an island near the Outer Banks. So our family situation is no better than my health. I'm scared for me and for everyone else. I know you are all here for support, but not having power to my laptop sux because doing SP on a tablet or my phone is just too time consuming.

But I am alive and I should be happy about that. I have met some really nice people in a support group I joined and one guy and I just clicked and we've talked every day. He's helpful in cheering me up, but I think that's just because I am lonely for male companionship. I want to be strong and be the warrior I think I am, but I just keep hitting that brick wall... over and over. I hope to be back in action by next week, but even my ankle hasn't healed properly. So much arthritis was removed that I now have pockets of fluid and they are absolutely painful.

But I promise to recommit. I really do. I have cleaned all the ice cream out of the house and there is only one cordial cherry left here. I went on a total crunchy peanut butter binge... and that was sad and I felt pathetic. So pray that I find my inner strength again. I really need those prayers.

Big hugs to you all and I hope and pray that I can be more active on here very soon. Best wishes to you all. Oh, and pray this fat falls off my arse before there isn't any way for me to go back! LOL

Peace and Love,
Ang
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KAREN2LOSE55
    emoticon and more emoticon , Angela! I'm so sorry that you've been hurting and that you are dealing with more health issues too. I hope that you feel better and better with each passing day! I have to say that I've really missed you, but I understand fully. These things happen in life so just take care of yourself, Sweetie, and the you'll be able to come back being stronger than ever! Love to you too, Karen emoticon
    1697 days ago
  • JANNY316
    You have not let us down! You have been kind of blown away for the last little while with all the medical situations. This happens to a lot of us every once in a while. I pray you are in better spirits today. Keep you chin up!
    1698 days ago
  • _LINDA
    So very sorry to hear of your additional health issues and the losses in your family :((( Life sucks and then you die, doesn't it? You ARE the warrior woman. Doesn't matter how many times you hit bottom, you are always crawling back up, kicking and screaming! You haven't let anyone down. We all know life and computer issues get in the way. Know we are sending positive, healing, soothing and prayers.
    That is great you are in a support group and have met what sounds like a good friend.
    Here is to healing and a pit bull trained to zero in on Dinah's scent and destroy should he catch a whiff..
    Feel better in all ways soon, was great to hear from you!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1699 days ago
  • TREYONE
    I hope you are feeling a little better every day - recovering from any medical condition can be as hard emotionally as it is physically. Take it one day at a time!!! Glad you joined a support group - I really think they are beneficial. The one I attend is for me!!! emoticon emoticon
    1700 days ago
  • LESLIELENORE
    Awww... emoticon
    1700 days ago
  • ROCKPORT9
    Bless you and know prayers and hugs are being sent your way! emoticon emoticon
    1700 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by ANGRITTER