I Feel Like I've Let Myself Down and All of You Too.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
I am sorry that I have fallen down on the job with the challenges, but I do have a good reason. There are some health issues I am now dealing with that if I had not had the 2 surgeries, I would have never known about. It involves my heart and my thyroid... and it's a convoluted mess.
On a funny note, I did leave the house today to go to Lowe's to pick up No Trespassing signs and KEEP OUT/PRIVATE PROPERTY signs and BEWARE OF DOGS signs. Why? Dinah, my old shoplifting roommate, is getting out of prison in 2 days and I don't want her tripping her felonious arse onto my property.
My parents are not in town. They are with my aunt in Louisiana and mom reports in to me every day and tells me that she is very tired, refuses to take the extra morphine because she wants to be with my mother as much as she can, but its not long before the end will be here. We also just lost my father's cousin, Danny, to lung cancer and he never smoked a cigarette in his life. He had just finished building his 1.5MM house on an island near the Outer Banks. So our family situation is no better than my health. I'm scared for me and for everyone else. I know you are all here for support, but not having power to my laptop sux because doing SP on a tablet or my phone is just too time consuming.
But I am alive and I should be happy about that. I have met some really nice people in a support group I joined and one guy and I just clicked and we've talked every day. He's helpful in cheering me up, but I think that's just because I am lonely for male companionship. I want to be strong and be the warrior I think I am, but I just keep hitting that brick wall... over and over. I hope to be back in action by next week, but even my ankle hasn't healed properly. So much arthritis was removed that I now have pockets of fluid and they are absolutely painful.
But I promise to recommit. I really do. I have cleaned all the ice cream out of the house and there is only one cordial cherry left here. I went on a total crunchy peanut butter binge... and that was sad and I felt pathetic. So pray that I find my inner strength again. I really need those prayers.
Big hugs to you all and I hope and pray that I can be more active on here very soon. Best wishes to you all. Oh, and pray this fat falls off my arse before there isn't any way for me to go back! LOL
Peace and Love,