Redecorating My Outlook
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Like any 20-something, I’ve wanted to move out of my parents’ home and get my own place. Until very recently, I couldn’t afford it and gave up looking for a while. The last couple of weeks I’ve been looking pretty feverishly and found a gorgeous apartment that was just what I was looking for. I applied the next day and found out a few days later (yesterday evening) that I was denied. Stemming from an already emotional day for whatever reason (stupid Depression), I was pretty devastated. For the past few years it has been a dream of mine to have my own place and to start life on my own without my parents constantly buzzing around. A huge fear of mine is to be 30 (a couple of years away) and a loser at home with my parents. Most of my friends that are my age have their own places or live with roommates. It’s embarrassing to me.
Obviously it wasn’t meant to be, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to give up by any means. Last night, I wept and I fumed. As soon as I got home from work, I ate supper and went to bed. I skipped Zumba with one of my favorite instructors. Six hours later, I woke up and after a pretty infuriating conversation with my mother (that’s a whole ‘nother blog) I fumed some more for about 2 hours before finally going back to bed. BRITT831 was there every step of the way, as always.
By the grace of God (whether you believe in Him or not) this morning I woke up refreshed, happy and lighter. Not only did the 10 hours of sleep help me tremendously, but I also ate A LOT more healthy foods and of course, crying DOES help. I’m grateful for the release of negative emotions I felt last night and for a better day today. Instead of questioning myself as to why I felt so much better, I rolled with it and am riding it for as long as I feel it. For me, these days are rare and when I do feel them, I embrace them.
Each and every day, I will look for an apartment and go see the ones that interest me. I’ll apply to the ones I really like and if I get denied again, I’ll keep trying no matter what. In the meantime, I’ll redecorate my room at home get rid of a lot of the clutter that gets me down whenever I set foot in my room. I’ll make my room the sanctuary it needs to be and continue to create a space where I can relax, practice my music and simply be me. I’ve been so blessed and have so many trinkets that I would love to display a bit more prominently.
I will continue on, I will reach my goals and I’m pretty darn excited about redecorating my outlook on life!