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Bittersweet, celebration of St. Patrick's day~

Monday, March 17, 2014

St. Patrick's day used to be a huge time for celebration in my family. We always enjoyed the typical traditions, like pretending to have the Irish brogue of our ancestors, listening to Celtic music and the yummiest staple of the grey corn beef & cabbage dinner.

However, after the passing of my brother (only 43yrs old) on St. Patrick's day 3 years ago, my emotions are a big scrambled mess on this day. I struggle because it was always such a happy day for us, but now it is so sad. I miss him so very much. Sometimes, I think it's so cool that he passed away on a day we celebrate/celebrated with such passion. For him, maybe the party lives on. I can just picture him and our Grampa John hoisting beers in the air the yell of "Cheers", while Irish music plays loudly in the back round. Maybe be had to go on a day that would usually bring so much joy, fun and laughter, to make it somehow easier for us. I just don't know.

Just before I woke up yesterday, the last dream I remember having was of my brother calling me to say hi. I heard his voice as clear as day, say "Hi" and "What's up". In fact I am pretty confident, it was the sound of his voice that woke me up. Yesterday we held his Memorial Mass. It was great to see all my family, even if we were gathering to remember a somber day in our family history.

Today, I have already cried half a dozen times, later though I will celebrate our Irish heritage with a nice corn beef & cabbage dinner and not count the calories, because life is to be enjoyed and celebrated. Tomorrow is not a guarantee.

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  • SALAM4545
    I'm sorry for your loss, but how cool that your brother stopped by to say hello! In my faith, we would absolutely say that this was no ordinary dream...it really was your brother trying to let you know he's thinking of you and that it's okay to celebrate and be happy and remember the good times you had with him.
    1481 days ago
  • TANJAT88
    My Dear Friend - I just came across your blog, don't know how I missed it :(

    My heart breaks for your loss -- I have the same challenge on Easter, which is when my Mom passed away at 56. It is SO hard when you feel such joy and such a stabbing ache at the same time.

    It is really cool to hear your brother "stopped by" to start off the day with you. I hope you were able to celebrate his life and yours on St Paddy's Day. It is a real testament to your whole family that you celebrate mass together as a memorial.

    Sending lots of hugs and smooches. And a big thank you for sharing with us this part of your walk.
    1496 days ago
  • APRIL_V_2
    I am so sorry for your loss Kate. You are so brave to share your heart with us. emoticon
    1500 days ago
    I understand your pain. I lost my father in July and his birthday is today. We always celebrated his birthday and St. Patrick's day. Today is very hard. But my father always told us to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and move forward. He would have wanted us to celebrate.

    1501 days ago
    I'm sorry about the loss of your brother on a celebrated holiday for your family. You may have truly heard his voice in your dream, and he may have been letting you know he is okay and it's okay to morn him and still celebrate St. Patricks day and have fun.
    My heart goes out to you and a prayer for you and your family.

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    1501 days ago
    Aww, Kate, so sorry for your loss! It's not easy losing someone so close on a holiday. Lost my dad on Thanksgiving Day 1991 and to this day, it's still not quite the same. I truly believe our loved ones visit us in dreams to let us know they're ok. Your brother was sending his love. Enjoy the day and honor his memory.

    There's an Irish Blessing (Bob Fabing) set to music that we sing at Mass that is very pretty and soothing. :

    May the road rise up to meet you
    May the wind be always with you
    May the sunshine warm you always
    Til we meet again

    1501 days ago
    I'm so sorry. But you are right, tomorrow is not a guarantee. So enjoy today!
    1501 days ago
    Awhh I am sorry you are sad. You are so very right every day we wake up breathing is a reason to GIVE THANKS and CELEBRATE . I am so sorry for your Loss.
    Extra big hugs and prayers for you on St. Patrick's

    1501 days ago
    You are so right! Life is not guaranteed and we never know what tomorrow holds. I am so sorry about the loss of your brother. I can only imagine how much pain and grief you must feel at this time of year, but I am also glad that you have chosen to celebrate. That's what he would have wanted, I'm sure. It sounds like your family had a lot of nice traditions for this time of year. So, take some time to remember and honor your brother, celebrate, and enjoy your corned beef and cabbage. Happy St. Patrick's Day!
    1501 days ago
    God Bless!
    1501 days ago
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