Monday, 3/17 Tricky Yesterday!
Monday, March 17, 2014
It has been a busy and hectic day in my world. I woke up at 3 AM--not unusual--but coughing and choking on what seems to be a significant chest cold that I didn't have on Saturday. It was brutal and I never went back to sleep, just coughed up stuff and wiped my nose until it was sore. I can't believe others in my home slept through some of that.
Then, we started out our day at 7-ish with a new snowfall covering the ground and even my basset Lady balked and didn't want to go outside. Lady LOVES to go outside, so this was a big shock. Improving on the situation, our water stopped and the guys discovered that they have to replace a control box to our well. If we can't find one locally, it will have to be ordered which could take up to ten days to arrive. That will be a total mess for cooking, eating, bathing and toileting around here. Arghhhhh. There is a real downside to living in the country and having a well and septic system--they are so expensive to repair and such a great necessity.
All in all, things worked out well enough to go to church--I needed that, without a doubt. After church, Matthew had bell choir and I got to exercise before we left to take Marissa back to Kirksville. It's never easy taking her back to school, I miss her a great deal, every day. Anyway, then we drove back for over 7 hours in the car. My body doesn't handle that well. Quite honestly, my body isn't handling anything well these days.
I'm down to the last of my 25 mcg fentanyl. The vicodin I take with it isn't doing much, keeps my legs moving. I understand what the surgeon meant by saying that I really cannot walk anymore. If I get 6-8 steps without my walker to hold me upright, I am in severe trouble, holding onto whatever is secure enough to support me for dear life. The pain is out of control as well. As I walk with my walker for any distances, I cannot hold myself upright and I bend over closer and closer to a perpendicular angle to my lower body. It hurts in ways I didn't imagine. The one thing that the surgeon was wrong about was when he said that the fentanyl didn't really do anything for me any longer--it is totally untrue. I am so much worse off than I was on 50 mcgs last month but even worse since I was on my regular dose of 75 mcgs.
Work got even worse by the end of last week and I am thrilled to have some respite from all of that. Friday may have contributed the worst activity in my professional career to my list of awful work experiences. I was at a group meeting when the social worker prompted a parent to blindside one of the sweetest and kindest teachers I know with a nasty accusation. The teacher, who I am willing to swear to the fact wouldn't do such a thing, ended up in tears as the parent accused her of all kinds of atrocities. (Personally, I have been believing that this teacher needed to tighten her ship up and force the kids to be more serious and hard working, the exact opposite of what she was accused of.) The principal sat there and never defended the teacher, allowing this to happen. I don't know if the principal knew this was coming, but if the teacher had been given a heads-up, the parent and child and teacher could have talked about this and the mistruths the parent attributed to her child could have been addressed in a decent way. I don't know who or why this ugly thing happened, but it was one more thing of many recent atrocities I was forced to witness with nothing done to right the wrong. I tried to get over it, but I finally sent the principal an email stating my opinion--I interrupted my workout in the pool Friday night because I couldn't get it off my mind or out of my heart.
I am trying to take care of myself, but it isn't always easy with the things life keeps shoving in my path. I need this break from my daily work, no doubt. I am teaching a three session set of lessons in beginning crocheting as an enrichment class for our students next week--there are four kids signed up. It will give me a chance to be in the building and complete a schedule change and the revamping of my schedule for fourth quarter. I am also adding about eight more kids to my schedule which is beyond crazy. However, life is tricky in our building with almost 550 children and technically a half-time reading teacher. Class sizes are averaging 28 with even more in many--our kindergartens are so big and with only the teacher, no aide or anyone to help. It is hard for me to watch and be a part of because I know this isn't what is best. Everything is about the dollar and in Illinois, there simply aren't enough of them coming to schools or anything that helps people. It is a greedy and confused state that isn't meeting the basic needs of anyone.
A break is definitely needed. I again find myself in a place where I am being pulled in every direction by serious issues. I think I wonder what life without issues, event or a short while, would be like. I know that it could be worse--if we didn't have health insurance, if I didn't have work, if I wasn't a capable thinker, reader and writer, etc... I know I have a lot to give thanks for and I do that daily. I could use some relief though, and I am working at creating my own break!!
Take care of yourselves, my friends!
Gentle hugs from me to you,