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My new understanding in life.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

So I really don't go into my problems in an open forum, you know, the whole privacy thing. Tonight I will. Not for sympathy, or grumbling. It's just a release of the headache. A few weeks ago I post a grumpy angry blog which was deleted later that day. Well, this will cover many of the same subjects, but calm with understanding of life. Don't like it one bit, just dealing with the punches.

My fitness- working on this slowly. not over training like I usually do, but this is usually how I de-stress
My friends- have a few, but almost never see them. I work nights and they are on days.
Work friends- work is a trick question. lots of stress lately which has recently ended. The flip side is that you don't whine downhill.
My son- some here know he has bad ADHD. Yes, attention and hyper, what a great mix. Failing school while being the most intelligent kid in class. He is now actively and purposely destroying assignments to not turn them in. His latest Psychotherapist is saying there is an underlining mood disorder. The school counselor, therapist, and police officer (another story) tend to agree.
My daughter- started entering the transition into womanhood. She has been sad and depressed, but not out of the usual for an almost 12 year old girl. Until 2 weeks ago when she started cutting herself. We took all the steps. Medical doctor, some light meds until counseling kicks in, started therapy, talking to mom and/or dad (mostly mom), and it seemed to be going o.k. Until now, cutting is back and deeper, letters of suicide, dad doesn't care, things are all her fault, no friends, we're poor, ...etc...tomorrow we will be checking her in.
My wife- if you've been around us, you know it's not that great. We get along, but rocky, and most of the depth of our relationship is gone. This started before all of life's crud came in. Now I'll get the calls at work with her crying, she had to have the doctor tell me about my daughters latest, and she spends most of her days sitting around sleeping.

The day the restaurant manager got fired, the bartender didn't show, and we had a Boardroom meeting to take care of. I did all three, worked 11.5 hours, and finished the day with a double promotion. I was received with my family waiting at home for me to make them dinner, I also washed dishes.

Odd thing is that I'm not angry or upset anymore with any of this. I've just come to view it as part of life. Sorry about all the depressing junk. This is just me setting down the bag of bricks I've been carrying.

I do know there are wonderful things in life too. I'm letting this go tonight, so I can look at the good easier tomorrow.

Carry on friends, Thank you, Konrad
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My heart goes out to you. Honestly, and truly. Life is hard enough for us all when we have to deal with our individual lots in life, but then to carry the weight of your whole family... well, my eyes water for you, and my heart wants to jump from my chest and find a way to walk beside you in any way it can. Thank you for laying down those bricks. You can always trust your friends here to look upon those bricks with empathy, sympathy in some cases, equipped with kind words to let you know that somewhere, someone sees all you are doing, and appreciates you. At the end of the day, feeling that appreciation and feeling like we have shoulders to lean on, is like a salve for the heart.
    1502 days ago
    Oh, Konrad, so many stressful situations on one plate. I know you're not fishing for sympathy, but I'm truly sorry that your load is so heavy now. Keep on carrying it as best you can, take care of yourself and do what you can to help your family.
    1503 days ago
    Praying for your family and you too Konrad! I wish I had words of wisdom for you. Glad you got it out...sometimes that is the key to things turning around. Chin up dude!
    1503 days ago
    Better days are coming.
    Keep the GREAT attitude!
    1504 days ago
    We shoulder the burdens we need to: just remember the song "If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry, I'm right up the road! I'll share your load, if you just call me"

    That's what you're doing: sometimes venting is all you need. Other times you need more. Take what you need :)

    I hope your daughter's doctor finds something that helps: many anti-depressants aren't good for teens so they have to be watched like hawks when on them. I wonder if she's interested in joining you running? Exercise can (not always) help with depression, and might also help her feel more bonded and stable in your relationship?

    Good luck!
    1504 days ago
    Oh Konrad, I hope everything rights itself soon.
    What a guy, you took care of everything at work, and got dinner on the table to boot!

    Stay strong!

    1504 days ago
  • AMCAN262
    Love the venting, tomorrow God's mercies will be new and He does not give us more than we can handle. Thank you for your courage as a provider and cooking for your family what a plus. Keep on keeping on emoticon
    1504 days ago
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Konrad.
    1504 days ago
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