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Sunday, March 09, 2014

It's March 9th. And I've gained. I've ignored my body. I've been oblivious some days. I've been abusive other days. Cramming food into my mouth isn't going to solve any problem, it's only going to create more...

I'm pretty sad today. More disappointed, I guess. I am the largest I've ever been. I couldn't find any dress slacks today on my shopping trip... I take that back. I found 1 pair. I can't even divulge the size because I am so disappointed in myself.

30 was supposed to be the year of getting it together. I've been squandering the opportunity. It makes me sad; disappointed...

I quit my job. Yeah, the one I've been blaming for everything and all my stress. My last day was the 7th... I start my new job tomorrow morning. I'm numb tonight. Not stressed, not excited, not scared, not anything... just numb.

Now that I've purged all the negative, let's discuss the positive:

Did you hear what I said up there?!! I QUIT my job. The one that was creating migraine headaches, insomnia, weight gain, self-loathing, vicarious trauma, etc, etc, etc... It was definitely a loss, as I am incredibly passionate about foster care, but I am so very excited to begin this new chapter in my life. Time to take care of *ME* and challenge myself.

I packed healthy snacks tonight, for my big first day tomorrow. I have my oatmeal ready to go for breakfast and I may even make myself an almond milk smoothie for the drive... I am prepared. (Water bottle, too!)

I bought a lot of clothes today. It was bittersweet as lots of things were too snug or not flattering. XL items were even too snug. I've never experienced this before. It's devastating and leaves me defeated. But the positive is, I did find some beautiful items to add in to my "just for right now" wardrobe AND... I bought myself new workout clothes to jumpstart this change. It's time to take care of myself. And my new cute workout capris will be helpful, even if they are an XL... but let's be for real-- they'll only be an XL so long as I'm willing to accept it...

I am worthy of taking care of my body. My body deserves to be cared for. I am going to get with the program... anyone that wants to remind me or scold me, I'd appreciate it. I can always use the extra dose of reality or some motivational words.

I may have fallen, but I'm certainly not staying down.

Here's to getting it all together and caring for myself.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This was one terrific blog! It's like half way through things went from utterly dismal to fantastic - and what a trip you are on now that you have left that old job. Honestly, it may have been the one giant hand holding you back from your dreams (sure sounds like it!)-(cause stress affects everything in our life!) and now that you are free of it .... well, look at you go!

    Now keep us posted and let us know how things are going. We are very much cheering you on!!! emoticon
    1506 days ago
    emoticon attitude ... I may have fallen, but I'm certainly not staying down. Here's to getting it all together and caring for myself.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1508 days ago
    I'm in the same boat, getting bigger not smaller. I don't dare go shopping and everything feels tight. Maybe Spring will give us a new beginning. Speaking of clothes you'll have a beautiful wedding dress to get in soon right?! I'm SO happy to hear you got a new job, that should be a huge help and maybe start a new routine too. Good luck today at the new job and new you. emoticon emoticon
    1508 days ago
    Thoughts become things.
    SEE yourself already as you want to be.
    Nip negative thoughts in the bud and flip them over to be positive thoughts.
    I know- easier said than done but... emoticon


    1508 days ago
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