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just a thought

Friday, March 07, 2014

After some starts and stops, I finally finished reading Women Food and God by Geneen Roth.

Overall, I found it helpful and thought-provoking. But there was at least one thing that she said that I disagree with. She said (and I'm paraphrasing) that when you eat to avoid feeling unpleasant emotions like sadness, after you eat the sadness is still there, but you've added another layer to your own suffering because now you also have guilt and/or shame about what you ate.

I think that (for me) the guilt/shame is part of the distraction. It's not an unintended consequence. It's the goal. I am reinforcing my belief that I am not worthy of love and that I deserve to be fat and unhappy.
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    1st the choice of guilt/fear in the subconscious mind, then projected into conscious thought. then denied, then acted out thru the method of food, then experienced as guilt etc. it all happens very swiftly. you both are correct in your own way.
    1536 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/11/2014 11:50:14 AM
    1538 days ago

    Beautiful. I totally agree!
    I am certain that when I get into relationship situations where I am feeling frustrated/unloved/disappointed/dis
    missed that I RUN to the food. And though at the time it seems unconscious, it is definitely intentional in the sense that then I can be so mad and disappointed in MYSELF that it is THE PERFECT distraction.
    1539 days ago
    Interesting thought.
    1539 days ago
    I used to feel that way, too.

    And when bad things happened to me, I'd try and find ways to blame myself for them, either directly, or indirectly.

    I'm really working on that. Even if I did contribute to the situation somehow, heaping guilt on top of it doesn't help me move forward.

    I'm working on practicing forgiveness of myself.
    1539 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/8/2014 8:07:47 AM
    Yes, that makes sense. I've had a similar thought. That I overeat so I feel bad about my eating and so I can 'forget' about the initial issue that caused me to feel bad.
    1539 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/8/2014 6:40:47 AM
    That's an interesting distinction. I suppose it's one of those things that can vary from person to person, but that's a fantastic gem of insight there. I think I probably do it to reinforce the "I'm not good enough" belief, too, although not consciously of course.

    Thank you so much for sharing! I read a different book by Geneen Roth and found it to be insightful yet terrifying all at once.
    1539 days ago
    I get that. Is articulating it a path to healing? emoticon
    1539 days ago
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