Friday, March 07, 2014
I'm haven't been logging on in a few months and the biggest reason is because I started using an app on my ipod that makes entering things here redundant. My time is limited and using my ipod makes more sense because it's portable. Also, I've been a bad SparkFriend & haven't connected with others the way I should. I think I have 1 friend who reads my blogs so I don't feel motivated to write when I don't think my journey is important to others. It's like writing in my diary & leaving it on the park bench. So for anyone who would read:
I'm struggling with my weight. Some POOP (I've given up profanity for Lent) went down with family at Christmas & sent our family on an emotional roller coaster that messed with my diet & exercise. Just about the time I started to get my act back in order (beginning of February) DH hit me with some rather devastating news. Our marriage has been rocked and although we have been working on things together, reading self-help books, talking, reconnecting, and calling upon God's grace & strength, we are slowly healing and moving forward with full expectation of a stronger marriage. It is a necessary journey of healing. One that I'm sure is overdue. It sucks. It's hard for both of us but we are doing it. Needless to say, that sent my diet on a tailspin toward disaster. I'm still working with the same doctor (since October) & I have to keep a food log for him (see, more redundancy) & even when I'm not proud of my choices, I still write them down.. Yes, approximately 3 cups of peanut M&Ms DOES make a dinner. My choice. I own it. Monday I found some inspiration & today is day 5 of being back on track. Although I have been exercising regularly for 3 weeks, it's taken this long to get my diet back on course. I'm down 1.5 pounds & want to keep it going to get back to where I was at Christmas & then keep it going & see where it leads.
I'm tired. I need stability. I need community. I need SP. Does anyone even read this?