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Wednesday, March 05, 2014

hi all--well my dad is in the nursing home and my mom is still sleeping in the office/spare bedroom. the move went smoothly enough. i didn't get a call and my brother and mom came here and had lunch before my brother went on home. later that day mom and i went back to check on dad--and i saw my dad cry for the first time in my life. i guess he had cried at home a day or two before the move as well, and now he is mad, wants to die, thinks my mom abandoned him to run off and party (at 86 i don't think that's going to happen). it was hard to watch, but i know this is the dementia talking--some of his editors are gone. he agreed to this move and knew it was going to happen, but the reality of it has hit him now. the nursing home folks told us this is very normal behavior, and advised us that the best thing is to stay on the sidelines for a little while until he gets used to the transition. my mom had already told him she would join him for lunch today, so she is going to see that through, then step back and give time a chance to help him out. she is holding together pretty well--being brave and positive, but i know this is shattering to her--she has never seen him cry either--the anger she has dealt with in the past, but the crying is new. he is fine with the nursing home people--we took him out to the dining room and got him settled at his table for dinner and he was fine--smiling and saying hello. so the sight of my mom is triggering the distress. i think she is getting the first good nights sleep she has had in many a day--both from sheer exhaustion and from not having to awaken in the night to check on him. today she wants to inquire about one of the senior apartments i had gotten a line on--i think she wants to move down here sooner rather than later--which is fine. so that's where we are right now--will have to see what today brings. have a great wednesday!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I was spared the parent with dementia situation, but both of my parents declined in general health, my father rather quickly due to cancer. Your Mom has to be brave for both of them, and you do too. Bolster her up with some good home cooked meals and lots of rest. Don't forget to take care of you during this stressful time.
    1537 days ago
    It has to be the hardest thing to happen in our lives. It's a road we'll all be taking in the future. Both my parents are gone now, but I know all about what your days are like right now. emoticon emoticon
    1538 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/5/2014 8:20:21 AM
  • JANET552
    I'm glad everyone is settled and I hope your dad's adjusts without too much time passing. We are just starting our journey down the parent-with-dementia road. In my case it is my step mother. I think I'll have lots I can learn from your experiences so thanks for sharing.

    Have a great day! Will you get a chance to run this week?
    1538 days ago
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