Maybe it's Time To Buy a Scale?
Monday, March 03, 2014
So this is my second go at Sparkpeople. The first was four years ago, and while I did well with it for a while, I eventually fizzled out and quit. I'm not sure exactly when I stopped, but I do think I can safely say that today marks the first time in my life I have successfully followed a weight management plan for six straight weeks, and I even did so without any serious cheat days. The worst day of the last six weeks I was just over 2,000 calories, so I won't even consider that a real bad cheat day.
Full Disclosure: I honestly have no idea what I weigh now, or what I weighed when I joined six weeks ago. I don't own a scale and I did not want to buy one right away because I have a tendency to get really discouraged by the numbers when they don't make quick jumps. I just read my last spark blog posts (my username then was RocketQueen 24 and I was better about blogging then). I had a lot more cheat days that time, but I was really upset every time I felt like I was eating healthy for days and then would see the number go up or just not budge. When I plateaued, I decided to jump start myself back with a cleanse followed by no carbs. This time, I don't want to do anything drastic. I just want to eat healthy, watch my calories, fat, carbs, and protein, and get skinnier the right way. But i"m not positive I'm doing that if I don't have a scale. So I gave in and ordered a scale. The moment of truth is almost upon me.
So what then? What if I weighed way more than my guess weight? I went to the doctor in September and weighed 173. Mind you, the last time I was on Sparkpeople, I STARTED at 159. I got down to 147 before quitting and my goal weight then had been 135. My goal weight now is 145. Pretty sad that I really just want to be where I was the last time I thought I was fat. But anyway, I ate pretty healthy last semester. Not consciously really. I just walked a lot (no car in Boston) and would grab a slice of thin pizza or make stir fry for dinner. Not too many big meals or take out or anything. I could feel myself looking better. But then November hit. And oh. my. god. I did nothing but eat in November. Every single weekend I went home for 4 days weekends (several reasons) or my parents visited or something crazy that just totally wrenched my eating. I was eating out every day, every meal and it showed. December I was healthy for about two weeks and then I went home for Christmas. I was home for 5 weeks and I did nothing but eat. I came back feeling the fattest I have ever been. I probably was.
The problem is, I don't know. I did not weigh myself. I put myself at 170, which was probably generously low, but I would be so ashamed to admit if I was way more than that. So now I need to prepare myself for the number. I have no idea what it will be. I have no idea how much weight I have lost because I don't know where I was. I know that I look different. Nothing drastic or amazing. Just better. I know I still have a long way to go. I know I'm nowhere near my goal weight. But I'm terrified to see that number.