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Maybe it's Time To Buy a Scale?

Monday, March 03, 2014

So this is my second go at Sparkpeople. The first was four years ago, and while I did well with it for a while, I eventually fizzled out and quit. I'm not sure exactly when I stopped, but I do think I can safely say that today marks the first time in my life I have successfully followed a weight management plan for six straight weeks, and I even did so without any serious cheat days. The worst day of the last six weeks I was just over 2,000 calories, so I won't even consider that a real bad cheat day.

Full Disclosure: I honestly have no idea what I weigh now, or what I weighed when I joined six weeks ago. I don't own a scale and I did not want to buy one right away because I have a tendency to get really discouraged by the numbers when they don't make quick jumps. I just read my last spark blog posts (my username then was RocketQueen 24 and I was better about blogging then). I had a lot more cheat days that time, but I was really upset every time I felt like I was eating healthy for days and then would see the number go up or just not budge. When I plateaued, I decided to jump start myself back with a cleanse followed by no carbs. This time, I don't want to do anything drastic. I just want to eat healthy, watch my calories, fat, carbs, and protein, and get skinnier the right way. But i"m not positive I'm doing that if I don't have a scale. So I gave in and ordered a scale. The moment of truth is almost upon me.

So what then? What if I weighed way more than my guess weight? I went to the doctor in September and weighed 173. Mind you, the last time I was on Sparkpeople, I STARTED at 159. I got down to 147 before quitting and my goal weight then had been 135. My goal weight now is 145. Pretty sad that I really just want to be where I was the last time I thought I was fat. But anyway, I ate pretty healthy last semester. Not consciously really. I just walked a lot (no car in Boston) and would grab a slice of thin pizza or make stir fry for dinner. Not too many big meals or take out or anything. I could feel myself looking better. But then November hit. And oh. my. god. I did nothing but eat in November. Every single weekend I went home for 4 days weekends (several reasons) or my parents visited or something crazy that just totally wrenched my eating. I was eating out every day, every meal and it showed. December I was healthy for about two weeks and then I went home for Christmas. I was home for 5 weeks and I did nothing but eat. I came back feeling the fattest I have ever been. I probably was.

The problem is, I don't know. I did not weigh myself. I put myself at 170, which was probably generously low, but I would be so ashamed to admit if I was way more than that. So now I need to prepare myself for the number. I have no idea what it will be. I have no idea how much weight I have lost because I don't know where I was. I know that I look different. Nothing drastic or amazing. Just better. I know I still have a long way to go. I know I'm nowhere near my goal weight. But I'm terrified to see that number.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    The scale does not matter as much as how you feel about yourself. If you have to you face the number and keep moving from there. You can do it!!!
    2557 days ago
    Hate the way clothes show the changes. I keep pulling up outfits 1 size too small and try them on until they fit...then go to the next one. Keep Sparkin'!!
    2557 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.