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Crash & Burn

Friday, February 28, 2014

This is how I feel lately. My life has crashed and burned. Yes I guess I have been pretty much throwing myself a pity party. It was a rough few weeks. Then all in 1 day 3 things went seriously wrong.

1. my daughter and 2 of her girls moved out (the oldest LaLa we have custody of so she is NOT going any where).
It started a few wks ago when I wouldn't watch her middle child so she could go out yet again all night. I just felt that she needed to respect enough to not wait till the last minute and say SHE ASLEEP CAN YOU WATCH HER FOR THE NIGHT. Not to mention that hubby was already upset cause since she moved down with us in Sept she has already dated like 6 different guys (1 of which is like a stalker keep walking by here) Then the final straw. She brought her latest over and he didnt even speak to us when he came into the house ; then on top of that he was lounging on my furniture like he lived here. So hubby told her that he didnt want him here (we both have a bad vibe about him); well she snapped. We treat her like she 12, she dont know why she moved down here and so on and so on. So as she is taking stuff out I asked her that what ever baby stuff that we got her that she isnt gonna use instead of getting rid of it or throwing it away could she leave it (my Goddaughter just had a baby and they have nothing) Well thats when she snapped on me and now I not allowed to see the 2 grands that are with her.

2. my final appeal review for my disability was denied; its been 3 yrs and I've basically been told that if I start all over I will get it quicker cause they dont want to pay that back pay. Not sure what I gonna do at this point

3. then we get a message to call my bil; so we do and they wind up having a family conference call hubby his brother and his sister. My mil (who is my friend outside of this marriage) has lung cancer and they feel she has a few wks to a few mths. As money is tight we have to wait till nxt wk to get the bus ticket to send him up to Jersey. As we are my fathers only caregivers and LaLa has school I cant go up. She has lung cancer and do respiratory issues and an infection that messed her up from a blood transfusion 20 yrs ago; there isnt much they feel they can do. They are gonna try 2 wks of chemo to see if they can give her an extra cpl of mths.

I give all this to God in prayer. It's still hard to deal with it all. They say God doesnt give you more then you can handle; well he and I have a difference of opinion of what I can handle.

Sorry to be rambling but to blog is the only healthy way for me to deal with my feelings. I will not allow myself to over eat or to start drinking again. Thank you for reading this. I am truly Blessed to have found sparkpeople and make such wonderful friends
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    1571 days ago
  • DAISY443
    You have every right to feel overwhelmed by all this. Try to remember to do something about the things you can (for instance reapply for the disability) and realize there are some things you can;t fix. Continue to take care of yourself and Lala! Hugs!
    1574 days ago
    I can remember a time when I felt I had more problems than I could handle. I had been in constant prayer but things were just at a stand still. I remember getting on my knees, in tears, and just telling the Lord I couldn't do this any more and just giving it over to him. It was remarkable the peace I felt when I got up and the strength I received got me through daily hospital visits with one parent while the other was in a different facility needing constant care and a DH who had recently had a stroke. Never under estimate the strength God can give! Hang in there and trust Him who has all power! emoticon
    1575 days ago
  • BEEJAY49
    I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. HUGS!!!! Know that I am praying for you. Your daughter should respect your wishes if she's living in your home, but some kids just don't get it. I'm so glad La is yours. :) Remember if "He brings you to it, He will see you through it". :) There are times I wish He didn't think I could handle so much too, but we do get by. Vent all you need too, it's healthy! Love you! HUGS!
    1575 days ago
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