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Am I the problem?

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

My church service tonight live

Never heard this pastor. so..... we shall see.

Lately Ive been thinking maybe my past will keep me from ever persuing God's call fully.
I'm 61, my kids say one thing and go to church.
How are they any different than me? I know his promises for my family. Just feels kind of hopeless at times.

Dear God, I'm the problem:

I need more of YOU! More of your faith, hope and especially love!

Scars heal but.....:


I thank you For the MYSTERY of You Leading me…. oh, Son of GOD.
You're guiding Guiding me with Your words of wisdom. Without you I would be without HOPE. LORD!
THOSE WHO LOVE MUCH, MUCH IS REQUIRED! I think it means because He has loved me so much, shown me so much compassion.... How can I turn away His HOPE? I do trust.

The Pastor said we may believe wecan never overcome our fears. I'm almost at the 175 goal and.... I'm stalling. I'm afraid to be attractive. ? I'm afraid to be small and neat and strong looking, again. I'm afraid to write the book. God deliver me from my fears! I have joined a a group of writers MONTHS AGO, TO ENCOURAGE ME TO FOLLOW THROUGH,.I start and stop again.
This is how I'm combating these fears by letting them be known to those who are 'rooting' for me.

Or is this also a/the problem?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God." Marianne Williamson
Don't forget me in your prayer time.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • HAGIN2010
    Great blog Della and you are a very special person.
    1509 days ago
    God is with you and it shows. That is what I know.

    It is the season for breakthrough and for reaching the unattainable goals and showing the world who God is. Christ in us the hope of glory.

    That is what I believe with all my heart.
    1513 days ago
    I sing a song called 'Heal the Wounds but leave the scars, a reminder of how merciful You are". I turned 62 today and am just now 'coming into my own'. I have always been intimidated by the opinions I thought other people had of me....and you know, the older I get the less I care. I don't want to live my life 'fretting' about all the passed opportunities and disappointments I've had. I have learned to live life to the best of my abilities and let the rest go. You have a story to tell. Get a tape recorder and get going!! You can do anything when the Lord is on your side. Be bold, be strong, and be blessed!
    1514 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/27/2014 10:27:24 PM
    Fear is one of the devil's prime tools to stop us from pursuing all that God has for us in this life and the life to come. Fear torments and paralyzes us so that we see ourselves as unable to accomplish what God has called us to do. See it for what it is, the temptation to believe that the devil's ability to stop us, hurt us, or defeat us is greater than God's ability to bring us through to the completion of His destiny for our lives. Which is greater, God or the devil? Sometimes it's just a matter of putting things in the proper perspective. If God has called you to write a book, then do it in faith believing that what He has called you to do He will provide the ability necessary to bring it to fulfillment. Your health is important to give you the longevity of life needed to fulfill His calling. Of course, He will provide the knowledge, understanding, courage and strength to arrive at your goal weight! Lay your fears aside and embrace who God created you to be! Then be the best YOU that you can be through the power of His Spirit who lives within you and empowers you to succeed!

    emoticon emoticon "....He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4
    1514 days ago
    1514 days ago
    I am praying for you. You can do it. The fact that you pick up the pen and write again shows you are not a quitter. In God's timing the book will be written. From what I understand of writers, many of them will sit down with pen and paper and just start writing. In the process, a flow begins and then pages with words build. Some will set time aside to do this exercise and then when the thoughts begin to flow they write away. Some writers also use a tape recorder to record their thoughts and pull from this to add to their manuscripts.
    As for your children and their spirituality, God will mold them and shape them. What you instilled in them is not for not, but as young adults they need to build their own relationship and this may not look anything like yours.
    I see this in the lives of my two sisters. We all grew up in the same house, but our walks are so different. My sisters believe, but they are not as grounded and rooted, nor are they planted in a good church body. It is times like this, I remember what God's word says and I am reminded it is not about our church attendance, or our works done in the church, but it is by faith that we are saved.
    I leave this to God to judge He is much better than I. What I do is love them and pray for them and when I have opportunity speak into their lives.
    All in all you can do it. You can push through the blocks and glean the perspective you desire. I believe in you.
    1514 days ago
    Amazing, heartfelt blog! I will pray that God will continue to direct and comfort you on your journey! Give God all the glory and He will show you the way! emoticon
    (Oh, and I worry about my girls, too. I think its pretty normal!)
    1514 days ago
    1515 days ago
  • ROSE_626
    What a beautiful, heartfelt blog. Thank you! It's how I feel too. emoticon
    1515 days ago
    1515 days ago
  • 123ELAINE456
    Awesome Blog. God will see tou through this. God is with You at all times. He will help you. Hope you are doing well. Praying for you. We are here for you always. God Blessings Always.
    1515 days ago
  • GENRE009
    Sounds like you still have to learn something very important in your journey, for healing internally or necessary for your writing. All things are possible thru God, and this is not a failure or a problem in you, just a detour. Maybe God wants you to enrich your writing with some extra message that you may be over looking. I really don't feel like it takes away from the importance of what you have experienced for your writing. You may be going into another door of awareness. I would not be saying this, if it had not happened to me. I had writers block, just before I came into Spark. Della, I believe with all my heart, that God has a wondrous plan, that is much bigger in store for you than what you planned in your book! And he will help you complete it, but first he is going to bring you into some understanding, or situation that you've not dealt with before. Have faith, that it will happen. You haven't been put here without a greater purpose in mind for your journey. When you walked away from your past, you walked away from your past. So, stop thinking about Sodum & Gamora. There is nothing wrong with you, and the sins of your past is washed away.
    You are just being too hard on yourself because this means so much to you. Patience, God is redirecting you. eva emoticon emoticon
    1515 days ago
    I am in agreement and praying with you sweet Della. I believe Rose Kennedy is right, but I believe that might be ok, then we don't forget and are able to share our hurts and how we overcame them with God's help. You will do what's right in God's timing. You are strong and have come a long way.

    I tried to listen to your church service but it wouldn't play on my computer.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1515 days ago
    Recognizing your fears is the first step. Then strategize followed by implementing your plan. Best wishes on your book.
    1515 days ago
    I will pray that you find the courage to answer His call in the way He intends. Sometimes I think that the Lord makes us wait so that we learn to depend on Him alone.
    1515 days ago
    I loved your blog and I love you!
    1515 days ago
    everyone has free will to chose their own path.
    1515 days ago
  • JYOUNG871
    I believe that you will succeed, and find yourself. keep the faith.

    1515 days ago
    Yes there is hope for you no one can not change Maybe not all at once put one step at a time I asked God to help me and he did He sent things in my life that helped People concealers books a crop that new whot we had to change You are not alone we and God is with you.
    1515 days ago
    I am praying for you and those in need. Smile and be happy!
    1515 days ago
    I'm praying for you! emoticon
    1515 days ago
    Prayers for sure. HUGS too.
    1515 days ago
    Keep on persevering, God will help you to be able to let go of your issues so you can be happy & healthy! Trust~
    1515 days ago
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