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Self Compassion

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

My own understanding of "self-love" was twisted the same way a bud pirouettes before unfolding into a beautiful blossom.

Thanks to the app SuperBetter, I realize that all that "self-love" and reserves of appreciation have degraded a little bit. Because if it hadn't, this little 30 second experiment wouldn't have made me cry.

YOUR QUEST: Love yourself as much as you can no matter what is going on. You can love yourself for thinking this Quest is stupid. You can even love yourself for not being able to love yourself.

1. Picture a person or experience you know you love for sure.
2. Now beam that same quality of love at yourself.

Now, listen: I can love intensely. The depth of joy that spontaneously springs forth, unbidden, when I think of my favorite person, or the excitement at unexpected encounters with sea wildlife, or the quiet heartbreaking affection I feel for my favorite cat-quaintance is unfiltered, and each has no distinguishable boundaries. My love is free and flows forth happily to them.

I was swinging my wildly through those emotions, one followed by the next in a 30 second swipe that left me breathless. I almost can't handle that pointed myself.

And I thought about how grateful I am to feel that at all. Once upon a dark time, years ago, numbed by depression, I wouldn't have been able to let any of the highs flow over me, because the descent into the lows were too much to bear.

In this case, it was a good realization to know that I need to do a little bit of positive self care. Knowledge is power, after all!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I love this! It's a great exercise. I have my own slightly obscene version :) I have comments people have written about my stories, and written them out one a HUGE sheet of paper (the kind they use for the big pin boards at school). It is hung around the wall of desk, so any time I look up, there are all these words of kindness from others beaming back down one me. "A woman after my own heart" "You, my dear, are talented." "I can't believe that after re-reading, every chapter blows me away like the first time I read this. Such a masterpiece." :me melted to a pile of goo:
    1547 days ago
    Awesome self love. Positive self care. Yes, indeed.
    I had a recent encounter with some I have hated, loathed and despised all my life. My inner negative voice. I learned that she had a positive intent for me. Yeah, I know, you've got to be kidding. I finally gave her a chance. I sat with her and waited. Nothing. I said, Come on tell me. Nothing. Not until I could put my anger, hostility and superiority aside would she speak. She was afraid because she was small and she wanted me to eat so I would be big and safe. Stunned, I sat there in silence. Now, I can talk to her and say, "It's okay. I know you want to eat that but I've got this and we're going to be okay. Trust me!" I need to care for HER! She I am at peace with her and am thankful she let me see her. She doesn't sound so compelling anymore and she doesn't speak up as frequently as she did.
    Self care leads to self love and I'm beginning to like her more all the time.
    Thanks for your post.
    1566 days ago
    1574 days ago
    Am so happy for you! Lovely post, by the way.

    Have a good evening, sparkfriend.

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    100+ Pounds Team
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    1577 days ago
    Such a wonderful exercise for one of the most essential skills we need...a close second behind BREATHING! :-)

    1577 days ago
    You are amazing. I wish you could love yourself the way I see you.

    emoticon emoticon
    1578 days ago
    I'm sending more love to you as well...
    1578 days ago
    I joined Super Better last Feb. emoticon
    1578 days ago
    You are amazing. You are worthy of that kind if love. Soak it up, my friend. Let it ALL in!
    1578 days ago
    Love this!

    1578 days ago
    Good point, treat yourself as your own best friend! emoticon
    1578 days ago
  • GRETA242
    Thank you for sharing this
    1578 days ago
    Awesome thoughts. Thanks for sharing!
    1579 days ago
    emoticon Wonderful insight, my friend!
    1579 days ago
  • 144AUTUMN
    You can do it!!
    1579 days ago
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