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Watching your daughter follow in your footsteps

Monday, February 24, 2014

My DD#1 is a Sparker. She’s exactly where I was 25 years ago, weighing the same as she did in late pregnancy. I’m very happy that she is not waiting 25 years (like I did) to do something about the situation.

She and I both found that the extra pounds negatively impacted our running ability.

Hayburner1969 posted this morning:
Thank you sparkers for common courtesy

And a few days ago:
I don’t need a sandwich

She has always been “petite” actually the smallest in her class by a LOT, perfectly healthy, but a perfect 10th percentile on the height/weight charts all through childhood.

Even in college, in BMI terms she was near the bottom of the recommended healthy range. Somebody has to be there, right? The doctors always assured this nervous mother that she was just fine.

I know that there are many with much more weight to lose than she and I. I also know that the extra weight that arrives in our 40s will continue to increase in the following years unless we make the effort to turn things around.

I also know that it’s discouraging to be put down for our efforts. There are valid personal reasons for wanting to shed unneeded pounds that have nothing to do with vanity or society’s expectations.

I hope she continues to find her experience here on SP to be positive. Unfortunately, there are always a few comments on blogs that mirror the offensive name calling on Facebook.

Sometimes those who have been bullied for being overweight do not realize that with their comments they are doing the same thing to others.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I don't know why some people feel it necessary to put down the efforts of others. This insensitive, thoughtless behavior is nothing less than bullying. At least the SP crowd seems to think out their comments before they write anything. Most of us have been the targets of that behavior at one time or another, and we know that it does no good (in fact, it can do harm). I know I really appreciate the supportive comments from the other folks on SparkPeople - they "get it."
    2604 days ago
    You are a wonderful role model, and there are few things more special than a mother-daughter relationship!

    2604 days ago
    My DD was always in the 90th percentile for height and the 20th for weight. I think she weighed 40 pounds for about five years, but still kept getting taller! It's just how she's built.

    I hate to see people airing their own insecurities by putting others down, for whatever reason.

    2604 days ago
    Amen! Do what is right for YOU... and if you have a tiny skeletal structure that supports less, you are perfectly justified in working to that ideal! Your daughter is a winner. Like mom, like daughter? emoticon
    2604 days ago
    2604 days ago
    Enjoyed both your daughter's blogs and your blog and the comments on all three! You're so right, you know what feels good for your body type/metabolism and what doesn't . . . and it's always better to deal with the situation when there are just a few extra pounds rather than waiting till it's a serious issue!
    2604 days ago
    I suspect that some of the more negative comments have their origin in the commenter's feeling judged (even though they almost certainly weren't) because they don't have a goal that is as low as hers, and their insecurity about having a higher goal/not attempting to lose as much, brings on the negative. I know I was in a similar situation when I chose to breastfeed my children. My mother had bottle fed always, and even though I never, ever said that there was anything wrong with her choice, she was very defensive about it, and it wasn't a good situation for our relationship.
    2604 days ago
  • 3016DEBRA
    Glad you have each other for the support! My daughter has helped me more than she'll ever know! emoticon
    2604 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12146214
    Your DH is built just like one of my family members -- my elder brother eats a minimum 3000 cal a day and he is almost 6 feet tall. He weighs 127 - 132 which is still very low but you know what that is just the way he was made and it is genetic as my father was the very same way.....very fast metabolism which stayed with both of them. I, on the other hand, got the huge shoulders but endurance of an ox which helps in IMs.
    2604 days ago
    I hope SP continues to be positive. People here understand that everyone must choose their own matter what other people think or say. Everyone has different metabolisms and should be respected for their own decsions on what to weigh. I have also received negative comments on my weight loss. I choose to tell them that this is a healthy weight for me and I am keeping it.
    2604 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9543726
    Some people are just built like that. My sister is built like a bird - she takes after my mom. At 5'3, she weighs around 100 lbs and has normal curves and everything else. She eats tons, doesn't have an eating disorder, and yet she still gets comments all the time. I remember her frustratedly telling me back in 2007 that one of her coworkers had looked at her and said, "So THAT'S what a size 0 looks like," and she felt like questioning why it was considered acceptable to say something like that, but not something like "So THAT'S what a size 18 looks like." Every person is built differently. If my sister weighed right smack in the middle of her healthy BMI range, she would have a body fat percentage that would put her overweight. If I weighed on the low end of my BMI range - something I've done in the past - then I'm skeletally thin. Everyone needs to do what's right for them.
    2605 days ago
  • LEWILL1982
    I'm finding it difficult to explain to some that I need to lose weight. It's why I'm blogging about it here, because Sparkers get it. I feel the gain, though, I can see it in my clothes and my knees tell me I have. Trying to lose about 15 lbs, now, before it gets out of hand.
    2605 days ago
    Yes ma'am, we who were grossly overweight, and still are need to not reverse criticize. If someone is petite or small boned it does not do them or anyone good to make negative comments or backhanded complements either. ( ie: you look good with extra padding) really! REALLY! I think that would ONLY be appropriate if you knew someone was trying to put on weight-I know one of those, just one.
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    2605 days ago
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