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Question about living...

Sunday, February 23, 2014

How do you stop planning your life, and start living it?

I feel like SO much of my life is spent in a planning stage. I have lived in my brand-new home for nearly six years, and I haven't done any landscaping whatsoever. It still has absolutely nothing...yet I have a board on Pinterest with 500 pins...of flowers, outdoor furniture, garden paths, etc...all kinds of things I would LOVE to do with the outside of my home. I would love it if the outside of my home looked like that board. Instead, I do nothing, because I'm afraid it won't look right, or something will die and then my efforts will be wasted. One year my husband gave me an absolutely GORGEOUS Dolly Parton rose bush for Mother's Day...but it ended up dying because I couldn't decide where I wanted to put it :(

I'm the same about my health, fitness, and weight loss. I plan and think and obsess over what I want...but I never make it happen. I read all kinds of things, watch shows about health and weight loss, etc. But I'm heavier and more out-of-shape than I've ever been in my life.

I'm reminded of that song by the Everly Brothers, "All I Have to do is Dream..." in particular that line, "Only trouble is, gee whiz, I'm dreaming my life away..." I think about that all the time. I have for years...because that's what I do.

2013 was a year of extreme loss and stress for me. 2014 hasn't been any better so far. The past couple of weeks have been hard. We took in a stray dog who was very sick. Despite vet care, medicine, rest and love, he didn't make it. It broke my already broken heart. Add stress at work, stress with in-laws, and a very busy schedule, I cry almost every day. I hold it in all day but I just fall apart when I get home. I'm pretty introverted anyway, so having to be "on" when you're out in the real word is exhausting enough. But I'm a teacher, and I have to be "on" for my kids and their parents and my co-workers and my supervisors. I just have a lot on my shoulders right now, and I feel like it's getting the better of me and I really don't want that to happen. I want to LIVE. I want to live my life. The worst part of this is that my poor, sweet, innocent family (that seems to be one of the few bright spots in my life right now!) gets the stressed, sad, falling apart version of me. They are lovely, but I absolutely HATE subjecting them to this version of me.

But HOW? How do you live life more fully? When obligation and stress and responsibilities seem to have completely engulfed every aspect of your life, how is there room for anything else? How do you make room for hobbies or exercising or for the exploration of your Self. I so desperately want to rediscover myself...I just don't know where to begin.
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  • SHARON10002
    Why not pick just one thing to concentrate on for the week? Since bills are usually due the first of the month - why not concentrate on that and get it done before next Monday? Get them all organized and then pay them. Concentrate on the sense of satisfaction you get when you have completed your task. You'll get a boost out of the sense of accomplishment of completing your task for the week. Once you can master a weekly task, bump it up to 2. Build your foundation, and the resulting project will be strong.
    1576 days ago
    I don't mean to be simplistic, but I think it's important to focus on one little thing at a time and actually do it. Doesn't matter if it's as simple as planting something, or changing one thing about your nutrition or adding one thing to your exercise repertoire. Start with something simple and actually do it. The feeling of finishing is a good one, and then build from there. Life will always be filled with difficulties, sufferings, and challenges, but we must see some vision--no matter how simple--and pursue it.
    1576 days ago
    For me the realization that we were not meant to take things in life alone. I believe in God and know that we were put on earth (created by God) to be his people and have faith in Him. We are to live according to the ways presented in the Bible. We know that we can't live perfect lives as Jesus did but when we fail we have someone to go to , to talk to (in prayer) and I know that he will pull me through any situation. He is not an imaginary friend but a real strength to believers.

    "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14: 1
    1576 days ago
    This is so strange. We are all feeling the same somehow. Maybe it is a natural state but we are more obsessive about it than others. For the crying, well I would like you to see you doctor. SOunds like you might have some depression happening. Not surprising after the horrible winter but some anti-depressants can help bring things back into perspective. This really is important as not dealing with real depression can become very overwhelming and WILL steal your life from you. I like the idea someone had about having a planning day or morning or afternoon or evening, once a week and about being very specific about what we will do that week. I suggest starting small with plans as they too can overwhelm you. Just like Spark we need to start anything with babysteps and do 1 thing at a time. perhaps make a timeline for the next month of what you will actually be able to accomplish in your yard and move slowly forward, 1 chore or task at a time. We can manage our lives with some control over our racing minds. Take care my friend. About your weight and fitness, I am struggling too. Again we have to take a step backwards and create a step by step, daily program for ourselves. Perhaps 1 week at a time to accomplish small goals. Remember to start small and STAY with small for a long while as you get used to reaching those daily and small weekly goals. Keep in touch and know I am rooting for you.

    Gini emoticon emoticon
    1576 days ago
    Wow, like BEINGVEGAN wrote, this really hits home for me today (see my blog, lol).

    I think the only thing that works for me is to take on small tasks.

    I have this mental list in my head of everything I want to get done, like losing weight, starting to run again, getting my house in order (it needs a lot of work), do something about the landscaping, clean my car, organize my closet...lot's of things that I have on this "to do" list (not big, life-changing "to do" things, just daily stuff).

    Yet every day off that rolls...I do nothing. I have 3 days off a week and only get as far as doing the regular stuff, like laundry, washing dishes, cleaning house...but never those extras.

    I did it today. The outside is a mess, my extra bedroom is a mess, the laundry room is a mess...but I can't get myself to do some weeding, fold some clothes, clean the litter box. etc. I don't know.

    Maybe we need to actually schedule very specific tasks? I really need to work on my front garden. So maybe instead of "work on garden", I have to schedule "pull weeds"? Instead of just "landscape", maybe we have to actually sit down and draw out exactly what we want, with a specific list of materials rather than just pinning ideas to Pintrest? So ultimately, maybe setting more specific tasks so we don't feel so overwhelmed?
    1577 days ago
    Oh, this hits so close to home for me. I'm an obsessive planner. The one thing that got me from the planning stage to actually doing was the book, The Kind Diet, by Alicia Silverstone. She's vegan and that's what the book is about. I'm not suggesting that you go vegan. That was just MY wake up call. Since then, I've done some time management training and realized how much time I'm spending just planning instead of doing. Now, I dedicate one day a week to planning; that includes meal planning, home redecoration, family calendar, paying bills, everything. It takes about 2-3 hours to complete it all, but once I'm done, I have the rest of my week to get it all done.
    1577 days ago
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