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And here we go again.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

This is my Nth time restarting my goals on SP - not because of SP, but because of my inability to maintain it for long. I'm trying things differently this time in hopes that a different approach will work. So here it is: I weigh 235 pounds. I wear a size 18/20. Both of my maternal grandparents have Type 2 diabetes, and that scares me. I struggle with depression. And I've had enough. I learned how to curl this year and joined a league. It's been amazing. I love the sport and I feel like I'm progressing in it. It offers me two hours of activity every week, but that's not enough. I want to be a better curler. I want to be happy and healthier.

I joined a gym last year and haven't gone. Not. Once. I've wasted all that money out of laziness. It makes me a little sick to think about what that money could have gone to. I'm tired of throwing money away at half-hearted attempts to lose weight. I turn 30 in July and I don't want to spend another decade living this way. I spent my twenties pursuing failed career goals and now that I'm entering another decade soon, I'm ready for major changes. I work for Dick's Sporting Goods and I want to make this company my career. I'm good at retail, and I love this company, and I want to move up the chain. But I don't think I can be taken seriously as a manager in a store geared towards active, fit, and athletic customers if I am none of those things. So I need to get my ass in gear for personal and career reasons.

I'm also hoping that in eating better, getting more sleep, and being active, I can alleviate some of the symptoms of depression that I experience. (Help me, endorphins, you're my only hope!) I want better self-esteem. I want to like what I see in the mirror. And it's not my size that I don't like - it's that I want to change it and I don't make the effort. So now when I look in the mirror, I see someone who is lazy and can't be bothered to follow through on the things I want to do/have. And that needs to stop.

Weight goals for the next 12 months:
Weight - 185
Pant Size - 12

Activity goals for the next 12 months:
15-minute mile
Improved cardio tolerance (read: I want to stop being winded when curling)

Health goals:
Eat out no more than once per week
Eat more fruits, veggies, whole grains
Cut my caffeine dependence (1 cup of coffee per day)
Cut the meat intake (for health and financial reasons)
Enjoy the outdoors more
Enjoy life more
Cut my risk of Type 2 Diabetes

I know I can do this. I hope I can stay motivated.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for the support and enthusiasm!! It goes a long way, y'know?
    1563 days ago
    Just remember not to beat yourself up. I'm only my 1000th time resetting goals & starting over. I feel this time is going to be different but there's still that tiny part of myself that is terrified that it's just going to end up like all the other times. Feel free to add me as a Sparkfriend. I found you through the 20 somethings with 50-99 to lose.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1577 days ago
    we are all afraid of this. it is such a scarey thing

    make yourself smaller goals that you can reach each week to keep yourself motivated
    which will help you more emoticon emoticon
    1577 days ago
    Great goals! emoticon

    emoticon emoticon
    1577 days ago
    I love how much you want this. You presented lots of GOOD reasons to start this journey. I've only seen curling on the Olympics but it does look like fun.
    I started really small when I first started this journey. Thought I knew so much about dieting that I could just jump right in. Not so much. I spent 3 weeks on fast break learning the truth about what I was eating and the cost of those choices. That really opened my mind to look for better healthier choices. I suggest you start with a few smaller goals that you can achieve within a week and then a month. We all need to be able to see and feel like we are accomplishing something every week to keep that motivation going.
    Keep that fire burning! emoticon
    1578 days ago
    It doesn't matter how many times you fall down, as long as you get up again-I'm in exactly the same position as you, but I know I won't give up until I get where I want to be. Feel free to stop by for nagging, support, whatever! x emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1578 days ago
    Keep focused for success.
    1578 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    Oh, DONE GIRL, all that NEGATIVE SELF-TALK. emoticon emoticon You don't need a hateful enemy, as you already have "Harriet" there in your head telling you what a failure you are. Roger Gould M.D says in "Shrink Yourself" to tell that witch to SHUT UP and that she is a LIAR and that you are NOT going to listen to her berate you any longer. We all have her in our heads, but we have to give ourselves some SELF LOVE. Who else is going to do it for us??????
    Now, let me start, DONE GIRL. 60% of people who join a gym NEVER go once. Honestly. My adult son, Neal has been working out now for 3 yrs, starting with P90X at home. He goes to the U. of West Fla gym now as they have really top equipment, but he says it is the HARDEST when you START and it gets easier and easier the stronger you get. He went from 245# down to 190# but is up to 212# now since he has added so much muscle. He's 6'3".
    So, don't be so hard on yourself about not going. YOU ARE AFRAID just like the rest of us. What would happen if we REALLY got in control of our lives????? How would be handle the attention??? Wouldn't other people expect more of us??? The reason so many of us never finished college and it is okay. BUT, it isn't to late. And, you are right that you are in a good job position to go up, but you need a good image. The population is getting older and KNOWS that we have to work at being fit for our HEALTH. When you have Type 2 diabetes in your family, Richard Bernstein M.D. says with time when you are obese you WILL get Type 2 diabetes, and that ALL obese people have Insulin Resistance. He recommends taking Metformin for weight loss. He has great lectures on YouTube and I learned so much from his book. He has a great chapter on PCOS. I got the book "The Diabetes Solution" from the library.
    Check out the YouTube Channel of DrFitt who is Roby Mitchell M.D. as a woman on there released 70# on his diet program. He had advanced prostrate cancer and cured himself with diet and exercise. He has a PhD in Chinese medicine and is an interesting man.
    1578 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/22/2014 12:39:58 PM
    You can do this!!! Keep Sparkin'!!!
    1578 days ago
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