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BLC 21- Week 1!

Monday, February 17, 2014

So today starts the next big challenge from all my buddies at Spark People! I'm a little scared, more so than you'd think for a simple online challenge- and here's why...

For years now, I've gotten by with my slow starts and abandoned projects by telling myself that I had plenty of time before I turned 30. It was just one of those big, out-of-the way numbers...I've got 5 years, 2 years, 6 months, before being 250 pounds is unacceptable to me, before not having a grown-up job is unacceptable to me, before not being married is unacceptable to me.

Well I got the job. Back in September with 6 months to spare, I got the promotion that makes me a vital and decently-paid part of a university department, with retirement benefits and health insurance, and a job that I'm happy to describe to anyone I went to high school with. Most importantly, I have people at work with whom I enjoy collaborating, and I feel like my skills and talents are rewarded and appreciated. That's huge, and I'm so glad to have found it.

And the marriage part? That's not a fear at this point- I've been so happy with Robert for 5 years now that when we do get married it isn't so much a tie someone down, I'm never going to be alone thing as it is a celebration of the life we've built up with each other. I don't even sweat that one.

But the weight...oh the weight. I have less than a month. There's no hitting my goal weight. There's no being under 200. There is only whatever I can do between now and March 11th...and that feels so much like failure that I kinda want to puke, right here as I'm typing this.

So my goal, to finally answer week 1's challenge, isn't a number at all. It's just to remind myself that 30 isn't the big deal it seemed like in high school- I'm going to be around for a long LONG time past this, and the friends and support and healthy habits I carry into March 12th and past that are going to make 30 such a great year to look back on.

Deep breath. Challenge accepted.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I like that goal! I'm getting closer to 30 as well and it's hard to not freak out about it! I like that you looked back on what you have accomplished so far. Hopefully it will help you to not sweat about that number. I hope you have a good first week of the challenge!
    1554 days ago
    I turned 30 recently, and it really is ok over on this side of the number!

    My impending birthday really motivated me to get serious about eating better and exercising, but fortunately, I've learned that even if I couldn't make my goal by a certain deadline, it didn't make sense to not try or give up - after all, the time will pass anyway!

    Good luck with your goals! I'm excited to get to know you!

    1554 days ago
  • PFERG66
    It is so awesome to have you share yourself with us. You have a host of friends at SP who are ready and willing to cheer you on, whether they write to you or not. 30 was THIRTY-NINE years ago for me. I doubt if I had any idea of what to do with my life or my weight at that time. I was just miserable. Glad you can appreciate the good things in your life! And you are getting a much earlier start on it than I did! emoticon

    1554 days ago
    Hi Amy :)

    Great blog. Very honest. I've totally been there. Please, don't puke on your keyboard. You'll need it for the next 10 weeks. :)

    It's hard when you have such an idea set in your head, turning 30 for instance, that it seems like such a huge goal you're missing -- but you're right -- it's not the big deal it seemed like long ago. You are a person doing things at her own pace. What counts is what you do NOW. From here FORWARD. And when you've achieved your goal, it won't be "Man, I didn't do it by 30", it will be "Hot damn, I'm one bad mamma-jamma, I lost XXX amount of lbs, pretty awesome" :)

    1555 days ago
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