Long road ahead, short road backwards

Monday, February 17, 2014

So last night I was DESPERATE for emoticon emoticon yes, that's chocolate.
But in lieu of a nice piece of candy, which I don't DARE keep in the house because I have no control, I did the compulsive "now you're reaching bottom" thing. I did a mental search of all my food cabinets, and found the only chocolate thing available. I put dry chocolate cake mix in a cup and added some water, and stirred it to a pudding consistency, took it back to the couch to watch my show, and then went back for a second cupful. By that time, I was just eating it for the sake of eating. I haven't reached that stage in quite a long time, but now I realize I've been going down the slippery slope for a while now. It all began on NOV. 22 with a difficult cataract surgery which took me off the road and away from my usual social activities; then on DEC. 22 I had a very serious fall, and have been basically homebound since then. I watch TV series on my Kindle prime or Netflix everyday. It's called "Series binging" to those who do it. so sitting on the couch with my injured leg up for long afternoons, snacking becomes the other couch activity.
I'm hoping to emerge again into the world about a week from Friday, which will also mean I have to get back on the WW scale. That also means I have some serious work to do until then!! now I haven' been really overeating the entire time I've been home, but lately it seems to have become intensified.
Today I decided to straighten out my act and put an end to this compulsive unhealthy behavior. I needed to share this with my Spark friends because we all need to be reminded from time to time that while it may be a long road ahead, it's just a short road backwards.
Perhaps that lesson needed to be relearned. Snow be gone, I'm coming back to life!

FYI.................I went to feed my little stray feral kitty at the door and on the way back I decided to be serious about my intentions, and took the remaining cake mix out of the freezer and dumped it in the garbage. I almost never do that, but I know how sneaky this food compulsion can be. NOW I feel better.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD2332407
    Good for you, I'm glad your back on track and thru the cake out. I admire your focus. Stay positive, better day's are coming.
    2359 days ago
    No matter how far we go on the journey, those weird compulsive moments sometimes happen to most of us. The important thing is that you did something DIFFERENT this time, you thought about it, you threw out the remains instead of eating them, and you got back up. So, the journey is one that will remain for a lifetime, but the choices on how to handle it are slowly changing and improving. Even skinny people do what you did, AND they don't handle much differently than YOU did, Be proud of your successful response to a situation that you don't face that often now. Even the reduced frequency of the crazy eating is PROGRESS - do you remember when you used to do that once a week or even more often? I sure do - so once in a few months is REAL PROGRESS.
    2360 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9963395
    Great work. Cleaning out the cupboards is great fun :)
    2360 days ago
  • SUCCEED621
    I totally understand how you feel! I've done things like that also. I'm still trying to just get on program. I will go back to WW by the end of the month. They should have all straightened out in my account by then. Good for you for getting rid of the temptation!Hope you have a wonderful day! emoticon
    2360 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14049861
    Changes in a successful routine can cause backslides. I know that from experience. I've been dealing with a difficult medical issue and the resultant necessary life changes - and not dealing well with them!
    All we can do is refocus our determination on to where it needs to be - our health - and continue taking small steps forward. We need to remind ourselves that this journey is not a one-day event and to stay focused on what we can do instead of fretting about what we can’t go back and change. We need to accept that no one does well all the time and that misistakes are a step in the process of learning how to change our lives.
    emoticon I've found that a cup of cocoa ("light" variety) often helps me deal with chocolate cravings. I did buy some expensive cocoa powder and also find that mixing a tablespoon of it into a small serving of Greek yogurt also helps.
    Stay strong!

    2360 days ago
    Never forget we are human we fall not perfect pick yourself up and go one day at a time from hear
    2360 days ago
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