Long road ahead, short road backwards
Monday, February 17, 2014
So last night I was DESPERATE for
yes, that's chocolate.
But in lieu of a nice piece of candy, which I don't DARE keep in the house because I have no control, I did the compulsive "now you're reaching bottom" thing. I did a mental search of all my food cabinets, and found the only chocolate thing available. I put dry chocolate cake mix in a cup and added some water, and stirred it to a pudding consistency, took it back to the couch to watch my show, and then went back for a second cupful. By that time, I was just eating it for the sake of eating. I haven't reached that stage in quite a long time, but now I realize I've been going down the slippery slope for a while now. It all began on NOV. 22 with a difficult cataract surgery which took me off the road and away from my usual social activities; then on DEC. 22 I had a very serious fall, and have been basically homebound since then. I watch TV series on my Kindle prime or Netflix everyday. It's called "Series binging" to those who do it. so sitting on the couch with my injured leg up for long afternoons, snacking becomes the other couch activity.
I'm hoping to emerge again into the world about a week from Friday, which will also mean I have to get back on the WW scale. That also means I have some serious work to do until then!! now I haven' been really overeating the entire time I've been home, but lately it seems to have become intensified.
Today I decided to straighten out my act and put an end to this compulsive unhealthy behavior. I needed to share this with my Spark friends because we all need to be reminded from time to time that while it may be a long road ahead, it's just a short road backwards.
Perhaps that lesson needed to be relearned. Snow be gone, I'm coming back to life!
FYI.................I went to feed my little stray feral kitty at the door and on the way back I decided to be serious about my intentions, and took the remaining cake mix out of the freezer and dumped it in the garbage. I almost never do that, but I know how sneaky this food compulsion can be. NOW I feel better.