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I don't need a sandwich (or sweets, or wine)

Monday, February 17, 2014

I am just under 5'4".

When I'm in prime running shape, I weigh around 113-115. Believe it or not, that is a good 10 pounds heavier than I weighed when I went off to college at age 18. So, back then I was roughly the size (and age) of the latest "Biggest Loser" winner. Many of you have probably seen all the negative comments in the press; the shocked look on Bob & Jillian's faces; the public outcry of: "Give that poor girl a sandwich!"

Now, I can't speak for the BL winner, but when I was her age, I can tell you that I ate anything and everything I wanted (which was mostly junk), and never exercised at all. I wasn't bulimic; I didn't take laxatives; I didn't have a medical condition... My body simply burned everything off. There are indeed some people who are built that way. Like me. 5'4" and 105 pounds as a young adult.

When I got pregnant for the first time, I was 25 years old and I remember my initial weigh-in at the obstetrician's office was 111 pounds. So my bad eating habits and lack of exercise were beginning to show an effect, but it wasn't terrible. Once I was pregnant, I tried to eat more nutritiously, but I still didn't watch my caloric intake. I ate whatever I wanted. I gained only 19 pounds and topped out at 130 the day I had my son.

Now I'm 44. In September, I was in fabulous running shape and ran one of the best races of my life. Now I'm 10 pounds heavier, weighing in at 125 pounds. I'm still running, but not as much thanks to a busy school year, cold weather, and a half dozen other excuses.

Still, even with less running, I could have consciously chosen not to overeat. So...

Why did I do it?

Reason #1: 125 is still well within the realm of normal BMI for someone my age.
Reason #2: Even at 125 pounds, I get the "you're too skinny" from a lot of people and society in general.
Reason #3: I like food. I like sweets. I like wine.
Reason #4: I like watching old reruns on MeTV and Netflix, and the TV is a trigger for me to snack.

At 125, I now weigh what I did at 7 months pregnant.

My running has suffered and I can't fit in most of my pants.

I don't need a sandwich. I need to stop comparing myself to everyone else and I need to practice some self-control.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are the only one who knows what weight you want to be. Try to ignore the negative people and be true to yourself. I have told negative people that my dr wants me at this weight as it is healthy.
    2637 days ago
    Hayburner, so glad you decided not to wait until you were totally out of control. I find that trying to lose that weight when you are in your late 50's and 60's really difficult. I'm working on it and am glad to have your mom amongst my friends to cheer and encourage me along.
    Take charge, take care and be healthy.
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    2637 days ago
    Do what feels right for you and your body. If you want to get the extra pounds off, DO IT. I've always been pretty tiny too, so I know exactly where you're coming from. Most of my adult life (I'm 41) I was about a buck twenty at 5'10", and I also ate whatever I wanted. When I started Spark at around 145 lbs, my BMI was less than 21, but it wasn't right for ME. I love to run and I have a bad knee-- the extra 25 pounds I was carrying was causing me a lot of joint pain. When I lost the extra weight, I felt so free on my runs I couldn't believe it. You will feel so GOOD when you get back to 115. I'm rooting for you.

    (BTW, I've heard the "you need a sandwich" thing so many times it makes me want to scream. The only person who has the right to tell you you're too skinny is your doctor.)

    2640 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/21/2014 6:19:18 PM
    I guess the point I was trying to make is that I have never been an "average size" girl/woman at any stage of my life. Without trying, I've always been a tiny person. I don't think I suddenly am an "average" woman. I am only this weight because I've been eating 3000+ calories a day for several months. That is not healthy, and there's no reason I should weigh what I did at 7 months pregnant.
    2643 days ago
    Smart plan!
    I tried to join Weight Watchers at 125, and they would not let me in the door. I suffered because they did not understand that I needed to learn how to eat. I wish that I had known about SparkPeople earlier.
    2644 days ago
    Wishing you the acceptance of yourself at average size; so you have the spirit and patience to go the the smaller than average size you want.

    You are loveable and capable and will get there.
    2644 days ago
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    Please don't ever compare yourself to someone else, as you're just setting yourself up for failure! We're all unique individuals in our own right, as that's how God made us. Just like with the snowflakes, no two are alike, and that goes the same for us. We are not carbon copies, and we shouldn't think that way. You're who you are and that's a GREAT THING TO BE!!!

    Be blessed,

    - Nancy Jean -
    2644 days ago
    Since I WAS you 23 years ago, (except it was 25 lbs), let me advise you to turn it around now. Your body was happy and healthy and running great 10 pounds ago and there's really no reason to haul it around now.

    Every person who is overweight originally gained 10 extra pounds, then 2o, then 50 etc. Maybe the first step doesn't have to be to lose anything, but stop the upward trend and don't gain anymore.

    Just maintain right where you are until you figure out how to take a few pounds off.

    Trust me, taking control at 44 is a lot smarter than making excuses until 61 like I did.

    Edit: For anyone reading this, I'm her mother.
    2644 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/17/2014 2:26:10 PM
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