I don't need a sandwich (or sweets, or wine)
Monday, February 17, 2014
I am just under 5'4".
When I'm in prime running shape, I weigh around 113-115. Believe it or not, that is a good 10 pounds heavier than I weighed when I went off to college at age 18. So, back then I was roughly the size (and age) of the latest "Biggest Loser" winner. Many of you have probably seen all the negative comments in the press; the shocked look on Bob & Jillian's faces; the public outcry of: "Give that poor girl a sandwich!"
Now, I can't speak for the BL winner, but when I was her age, I can tell you that I ate anything and everything I wanted (which was mostly junk), and never exercised at all. I wasn't bulimic; I didn't take laxatives; I didn't have a medical condition... My body simply burned everything off. There are indeed some people who are built that way. Like me. 5'4" and 105 pounds as a young adult.
When I got pregnant for the first time, I was 25 years old and I remember my initial weigh-in at the obstetrician's office was 111 pounds. So my bad eating habits and lack of exercise were beginning to show an effect, but it wasn't terrible. Once I was pregnant, I tried to eat more nutritiously, but I still didn't watch my caloric intake. I ate whatever I wanted. I gained only 19 pounds and topped out at 130 the day I had my son.
Now I'm 44. In September, I was in fabulous running shape and ran one of the best races of my life. Now I'm 10 pounds heavier, weighing in at 125 pounds. I'm still running, but not as much thanks to a busy school year, cold weather, and a half dozen other excuses.
Still, even with less running, I could have consciously chosen not to overeat. So...
Why did I do it?
Reason #1: 125 is still well within the realm of normal BMI for someone my age.
Reason #2: Even at 125 pounds, I get the "you're too skinny" from a lot of people and society in general.
Reason #3: I like food. I like sweets. I like wine.
Reason #4: I like watching old reruns on MeTV and Netflix, and the TV is a trigger for me to snack.
At 125, I now weigh what I did at 7 months pregnant.
My running has suffered and I can't fit in most of my pants.
I don't need a sandwich. I need to stop comparing myself to everyone else and I need to practice some self-control.