When things break
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Being part of the Beyond the Scale Pink Pirates challenge team has motivated me. I became focused on losing the weight that just hadn’t wanted to leave me. I tracked all my food….every bite, lick and taste. I wore my SP activity tracker and tried to get as many steps and calories burned as I could. I went to the gym. I braved my cold basement to get on the treadmill. I put on YouTube music videos and danced to them. I said no to people trying to push food on me. I had my husband in training on what I would eat. In the first 5 weeks of the BTS challenge I lost 12 pounds. I was going to do this! I was going to be at least 20 pounds lighter before the summer. I was going to be a butterfly when I ripped off that bulky winter coat.
And then week 6 came and my mind went blank, my feet stopped moving, my perfect food tracking stopped. Everything just….broke. I completed the last weekend challenge and did my early Monday morning weigh in and then I stopped everything. I went back to all my pre-BTS bad habits. I have no reason why I did this. I could blame the weather and all the snow that came down. I could blame how cold it has been outside that has prevented me from walking my two dogs in the morning. Too cold to get into my car and drive the the gym. I could blame the early conference calls I had last week that started at 7:30/8:00am every day. I could blame a lot of things.
But really the only thing (person) I can blame is me. I don’t know what happened and why everything just seemed to break down. There wasn’t trigger. It wasn’t that I did things wrong…I just didn’t do anything. There was no right or wrong…there was just nothing. I just woke up last Tuesday and didn’t track. I didn’t exercise. I just broke. It’s the only way I can describe it.
So now I need to fix this. As we in the BTS Pink Pirates start our week 7 on Monday, we are to use today (Sunday) to reflect and prepare. That is what I have been doing today. I am, as the saying goes, getting my house in order. Planning my meals…and not just the dinners as I usually do…but the breakfasts, lunches and snacks. I have printed out a blank calendar for the week and planning out my exercise/activity/gym time. I have been reflecting on what worked in the first 5 weeks. Getting my mind back to where it was those first few weeks. I will fix what is broken and get back on the road. Cause that road is going somewhere good and I need to be un-broken to travel it.