Still having trouble
Thursday, February 13, 2014
I've been having a really hard time getting back on track. I have no motivation and just logging in to this site seems to be a chore. I've gained back all the weight plus 5 pounds. Depressing events keep happening every time I start to try again.
My 40 year-old cousin died last June. My 35 year-old friend died at the end of September. My 41 year-old ex-fiance (who was still a good friend) died in November. None of it was expected. Now it looks like we may have to put my cat down. He is 14, so it isn't quite as unexpected. He's been with me since he was a kitten and it is really hard to let go, but even harder to see him suffering. We have an appointment with the vet this weekend, so maybe she'll have some good news.
I've been having trouble sleeping for several months and now my 3 year old has been crawling into bed with me in the middle of the night. I know letting him stay is setting a bad precedent and I'd make him go back to bed, but I'm sooo tired when he does it that it seems like too much of an effort and I'm a sucker for his adorableness. But then I end up with him sticking his feet in my back every half hour when he moves around in his sleep, which I actually think is funny, but I'm exhausted every morning from lack of sleep. When I get to work, I'm a zombie and all I want to do is eat comfort food all day.
All my old motivation tricks aren't working this time around and I don't know what to do. I feel tired, worn out, and uncaring about my health, which scares me a little.