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Lost Hope.. trying to find that motivation again

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Well I have 4 wonderful, healthy, gorgeous little boys. But, each of my pregnancies I am unable to workout due to preterm labor. I also eat like a crazy lady when pregnant. In short, I have gained around 60 pounds with each of my four boys. I am not one of those, gain the baby weight and it falls off kind of ladies. EACH time after having a baby I have had to fight to get that weight off, fight hard. Each time has been harder than the time before. First time, fell off as soon as I started trying, second, had to push a bit harder but got it off. After my third son, I had to work hard to get it off and it took over a year. This time, my son if 9 months old and I am still no where near my goal.
My husband deployed back in September and is now coming back this month. I look the same, and I feel like I failed us both.
It was pretty much impossible for me to lose weight while he was gone, my stress level was at an all time high.
It is not easy raising four boys, all 6 and under, by myself. Especially while living in ND and it's often way to cold to even leave the house.
I feel my health is declining. I really need to step it up, now.
I don't know why my motivation is so hard to come by. I look in the mirror and get sad, I am always thinking of healthier options, but seldom do it.
Anyone have any tips? I really need to step it up so I can be a healthy mommy to my boys!

Deployment, with children was pretty much the hardest thing I have ever done. So glad it's almost over.
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    Start small. Try some of the free exercise videos SparkPeople has available. One of the things that really helped me was to get a used stationary bike for a good price off craigslist. Upright stationary bikes don't take up much space and are relatively inexpensive. And then you have something right there and don't have to worry about getting out of the house or finding someone to watch your boys.
    1585 days ago
    I know I am a little late commenting on your bolt but I really did get tears in my eyes when I read your post and all the comments. First off I would like to Thank you, your Husband and your family for the sacrifices that you have made to keep our Country safe!!!! Secondly, a failure...NO WAY! Can't imagine you even have time to put clothes on every day or even brush your teeth. Just start today and do one thing different whether it be drink 8 glasses of water or walk up and down the stairs a few extra times. Once you make a change and stick with it then add something else a couple of days later and other things will start to follow. Don't try to take on everything at once you already have enough on your plate! We are right here with you. GOOD LUCK! emoticon
    1589 days ago
    You're a great mom & you can do this! My husband travels for work usually every Mon-Friday. It's challenging for me to cook dinner every night when he's away. On my good weeks I meal plan & shop on the weekend. It's also good to make extra & freeze some dinners. There are a lot of easy, healthy crockpot dinners you can freeze in advance. It's hard for me too to get out of the house with 3 little ones. Is there anyone that can help you? Maybe on your grocery days?
    1592 days ago
    1. You are NOT a failure. You are raising 4 boys with your husband being deployed - that's a big job and big success right there.

    2. It didn't take a few weeks to gain the weight and get out of shape, so it won't be fixed in a few weeks. Be realistic and start by building some basic healthy daily habits - drinking at least 8 glasses of water a day and doing at least one or two of Coach Nicole's video workouts every day (they're available to view here on SPARK for free) AND tracking your food and eating sensible numbers of calories.

    3. Start small. You'll probably need to build up to doing more exercise than I've suggested above, so look for workouts you can handle now. You'd be surprised at what working out for a 10 minute video 2 times a day will do for you. You can also try Cardio Dancing. There are videos of that on U-tube - again for free - and you can dance to get some cardio calorie burning and exercise.


    1592 days ago
    I'm thinking that maybe it's best to not fight and try very hard but just set a few small goals that you know you can do. Don't push yourself very hard because I think that will often backfire - but push yourself a little bit.
    I believe you can be proud of yourself that you managed to get the weight off three times already. Maybe now it's a good time to just find steady healthy habits so you can be consistent and not gain a lot of weight any more in the future.
    1592 days ago
    I'm so sorry! Deployments are really tough... Now having a child, I can only imagine how much more difficult it would have been to do it as a mother instead of just alone. I am so glad he is almost home. You are awesome and raising four boys under 6 is absolutely incredible. Try not to get too down on yourself. Every day is a new one and you can change your future and make it into whatever you want!

    As for ideas, what about doing workout DVDs at home while the boys play? I do this with my little 1 year old and it works out quite well. I'm so sorry you live in such a cold place otherwise stroller rides! Maybe go to the mall or go swimming indoors? And healthy food to make healthy recipes and meals.

    Anyway, you are awesome and you deserve to have been stressed and anxious during this deployment. The last thing you should worry about is if you are at your ideal weight. But now that he is coming home, you get to focus on yourself since you'll have some help. Good luck! I hope you stay in touch on here. I am also trying to lose weight (like always) and we can do this together!
    1592 days ago
    I'm with Mustangamore on this one! You are no where near a failure! You've done the best you could with the cards you were dealt. I have 3 children, 7, 3 and 2. My last 2 are adopted so I didn't have weight gain during a pregnancy, I had weight gain after their arrival. Babies take a lot of time and energy and if your support system isn't there, something has to give. Usually what gives for a busy Mom is time for yourself. I'm asking you to do this one thing for yourself, and give yourself a break, you know what your past looked like, it's time to figure out what your future will be!

    When I started back with SP in December, I started doing 10 minute videos 2x a day. That's it. It was hard to start because I was so tired all the time. Finding the time to do the 10 minutes wasn't hard. Making myself do it was. I would have much rather sat down for 10 minutes and put my feet up but that choice wasn't helping me feel better. Instead I put my sister's voice in my head and heard her say "suck it up buttercup" and I did my 10 minutes. It's only been 2 months and I'm already feeling tons better!

    It's so exciting that your husband is coming back home after his deployment! You've got some fantastic adjustments coming your way, enjoy your time together as a family! emoticon
    1593 days ago
    I agree with EVERYTHING Mustangamore said below: you are SO not a failure!!

    1593 days ago
    This broke my heart a little- you are the farthest thing from a failure! Raising those 4 boys especially as a single Mom during deployment- keeping the home fires burning- you are a hero! It's no secret that Mom's have less time for themselves and put their own needs last. Things will get easier- your husband will be thrilled with his beautiful wife and family. You put the expectations on yourself- now give yourself a break & forgive yourself for not being perfect- none of us are. Hugs!!!! Jan emoticon
    1593 days ago
    try to use your 4 boys as motivation. You need to be healthy for them - they NEED you. Good luck!
    1593 days ago
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