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Shocked into reality ..

Monday, February 10, 2014

Today I woke up I just did not want to go to the gym and seeing that this is my last week to go to the gym in the morning time because next week I start my 9-5 I knew I had to go.. I thought why not I am sure you will feel much better after seeing that usually happens.. So I did my usual walk on treadmill, weights and rowing and bike, so after my work out I decided it was time to face the music.. get on the scale other then my broken one.. which I have been doing and knowing that the weight is not true.. with in 5 or 6 lbs .. so I stepped on the scale.. OMG.. I was so shocked and mortified that I could not move.. the truth was starring at me.. and I need to face it.. how? was I going to face it.. how was I going to deal with it yes I know it is a number but this number reflects the true damage I have done and did to my self.. so I need to come clean and first of all admit to you all the damage the number which is 255 and change it on my diet tickler.. and I also need to get this down and I know sitting here being mad at my self and beating my self up is not going to get it down.
but what is going to get it down is hard work.. and I am not sure if I can do it.?? not sure if I have it in me.. where do I start.. how do I do this? and I am so embarrassed that you all know and this is killing me.. truly killing me.. You know I over did it.. I stayed to long in this compliancy or rut or what ever it is I am in.. and I need to dig out..

Thank you for listening.. I need to start listening to my self..

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MISSG180
    Think about what you would say to me if I had written this blog entry.

    Now start saying those things to yourself.

    You deserve to feel good about yourself, and to have self-respect. You are not your weight. You are not your dress size. You are, as you stand right now, all 255 pounds, a good and decent person who deserves love and caring.

    Thinking about "doing this" is throwing you into a panic. Stop thinking about it that way. Concentrate on your health, not the numbers on the scale. Concentrate on having energy and vitality and capability.

    The undeniable fact is that 95% of us gain weight back. This isn't something we do once and check off our lists. So it's far better to concentrate on the non-scale victories--like, for example, you actually went to the gym--than beat ourselves up over the tough parts of the fight.

    Treat yourself with the love you would treat your friends with. You deserve it.

    1531 days ago
    Anita, all I've got for you is a great big hug. You CAN do it. because you are a strong, motivated, optimistic, and daring woman. Go back to basics, and build on that foundation, one brick at a time!
    1532 days ago
    MsAnita, I know that was a hard reality to face. My 10 pound gain this past year along with the loss of my muscle, oh my goodness it's hard! That's why I joined the local rec center weightloss challenge. Tonight was my first night, it was wonderful! Local accountability! Yes, I'm accountable to my Sparkies, but y'all aren't looking at me when I work out to make sure I am feeling the burn, doing the work, walking the walk and not just talking the talk.

    I am so excited about this 8 week fitness challenge. I would encourage you to find some local level accountability too. I know that you have some physical limitations because of your knees, but there are modifications that you can do.
    1532 days ago
  • SHELL1400_85
    Thank you for sharing and being so honest. Small steps, don't get too upset we all just have to take it one day at a time and not be too hard on ourselves. Keep positive thoughts. I am here if you ever need help or someone to talk to.


    1532 days ago
    Hang in there, hike up the exercise, take a close look @ your nutrition and take each day as it comes. Plan your work and work the plan and it will work for you!
    1532 days ago
    Work from the inside out...go onto you tube, seriously, and search for weight loss meditation many great affirmations and self love meditations to help you get in touch with the real you inside.

    You are worth the effort and sweat!

    Also, keep in mind, the weight you are now, I am striving to get down, you are way ahead of me already!

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    1532 days ago
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    1532 days ago
    I hate what the scale says too, but I'm taking it one step at a time. I'm not beating myself up when I slip and I'd love to be losing faster but it is what it is. Start small and go from there. I reward myself after every 5 lbs. lost instead of focusing on all I have to lose at once. emoticon
    1532 days ago
    Not sure how much food tracking you've done in the past, but it has definitely been the key for me. I have had 2 six month long plateaus over the past two years. But, because I continued to track, I did not gain anything. It keeps you accountable. It keeps you from going overboard. Take your time, and don't rush things. Sometimes when you limit yourself too much or go like gangbuster, you burn out quickly. I've been doing this for 2 1/2 yrs. and I am not tired of it yet. Slow and steady. Good luck to you.
    1532 days ago
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    1532 days ago
    I'm glad you admitted where you are..........and now you are ready to get to work to lose that weight. Now just start where you are, as Kitt said. Take it one day at a time and remember that you are worth your best effort! emoticon
    1532 days ago
  • KITT52
    start where you are...what worked for you before...

    look forward.....small steps can add up.....

    1532 days ago
    You are so brave to post this! I really admire your honesty. I can only suggest something that seems to have helped me recently, as for the last year I have bounced up and down on the scales not making any true forward progress. I went to a program for a week at the Kripalu Yoga Center in Stockbridge, MA. I decided I just needed some time to myself to really look at issues and learn more about managing my LIFE in a healthier way. I did this in January. I have re-vamped what I eat and am having a lot more success at reducing my food intakeā€¦. low carb/ virtually no grain. I was lucky in that while I was there, I ate wonderful food so I could see for myself that I could eat this way and not feel deprived. Most of the group that attended with me and I are keeping in touch via Facebook; so I am getting ongoing support from that as well. I am sure there are many good programs out there in addition to Kripalu. Maybe it is time to reinvest in yourself? Good luck and let me know if I can be of help.
    1532 days ago
    emoticon It's always hard. I am really having to watch what I eat because I can not exercise right now. Let me know if I can help!
    1532 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Baby steps.
    1532 days ago
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