So stressed right now!
Wednesday, February 05, 2014
Augh! I am beyond stressed today. Between things going on at work, things going on with my ex, things going on with my kids, things going on with school, and now things going on with a friend. I'm done! Lord take it all! So many emotions, so many thoughts. I need just me time. Some time with no cell phone, no kids, no parents, no co-workers, no school books. Just me, nature, and some good music. I need to relax!
This LC diet is kicking my butt. I've lost weight but now I get to points where I have no energy and am not hungry so I'm not eating as much as I probably should. I feel like if I keep going like this I'm going to plateau and then I will be even more upset.
I'm getting tired of the diet. I feel like I eat the same things over and over. I'm so tired of eggs now. I'm only in week 3 and I keep thinking it will get better.
I went to a Casting Crowns concert last night and thought... this is for me. I'm gonna have fun and relax. I took my oldest daughter (she's only 6) and we meet up with a good friend of mine and the rest of her family. Well my I was having fun and my daughter was too but then about 3 songs into it she was getting tired and was ready to go. She ended up falling asleep during the concert. Then I was stressed because when I got home my other 2 kids were still up because they didn't want to go to bed and they were upset because I didn't take them to the concert. Then I knew I was going to fight with them this morning... and I did. None of them wanted to get up... shoot, neither did I. But they had to go to school and I had to go to work. I didn't get any school work done ( which I knew I wouldn't) and I feel terrible about it. Oh and there were about 2 or 3 songs on their new album that made me think of my ex and what we went through, so then I started crying like crazy. So what was suppose to be a fun evening for me ended up not being so much. Then when I got home I get a text from my Office Manager that we have a staff meeting the next day. Staff meeting for me in the past have always been a negative thing, so of course I freak out.
Get to work today, after fight with the kids and dealing with the rain, and find out that I'm not the only one freaked out by this meeting. But needless to say the other 2 that were also freaked out worked at the same place I did before and we always had horrible staff meetings. Thank goodness it wasn't a complete terrible, at least not what we were use to. Found out our OM is leaving and some unexpected changes are taking suit. This of course stresses 2 other employees out which they both called me on our way home tonight to express their stresses. No big deal, we're friends that what we do. So here I am trying to be calm one trying to find solutions and trying to reassure them that everything will be okay. Meanwhile I"m stressed out because they want to add another day to our work week and that doesn't work with my schedule. Augh!
Then my son's been sick... a lot going on with him. Medical appointments after medical appointments. We still haven't figured out why he had blood in his urine. Still hasn't gotten the tubes put in his ears, and now he has another ear infection. Trying to inform my ex of his appointments and he can't seem to tell me if he's gonna be at the appointments or not.
Speaking of the ex, him and his wife are finding out tomorrow what the sex of the baby is and they are doing a gender reveal party this weekend and didn't bother to invite my kids. So of course that has me furious! They kept saying that they wanted my kids to be involved in this baby's life but they choose not to have them at their wedding, and now they are choosing to not have them at this party when they tell all their family and friends what they are having. Pretty grown up... NOT! I know, I shouldn't let it bother me but it does. I hate it for my kids because I see the pattern already starting. They are cutting them out of their life but yet at the same time the words coming out of their mouth is saying that the kids matter to them. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! Augh!
I won't go into everything else. Those are my biggest things that I can't do anything about... except just scream! AAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Alright, enough ranting tonight. Off to do more school work and hopefully to eat something... LC. :)