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Getting back on track

Saturday, February 01, 2014

So.....I didn't really start of 2014 with a running start. January kind of consumed me. It started from being home for the holidays, I think. I just don't do well when I'm back in that environment. It took me like 3 weeks to start writing again after that and I just felt....blah. Depression and anxiety were definitely getting me in January, and while I know it's not all related to being home for Christmas, I know it's part of it. I know people are going to want me to come home at the end of the month for my birthday and my dad's birthday, but I think I'm going to tell my parents that they need to come to me. I'm pretty sure my dad and step-mom will come up if I ask, but I'm not sure my mom and step-dad will.

Anyway, I'm going to try to not dwell on it and just move forward. I'm going to start by simply taking a walk with the dogs today. It's finally a decent temp outside and it wasn't too windy when I took them out this morning, so it should be nice. And then tomorrow I'm going to text my boss and ask him if I can take advantage of the free gym membership they're offering. I was looking at the gym's website the other day and it actually looks pretty nice. And they have classes! As ridiculous as I'll feel, I'd really like to check out a zumba class. And they have a boxing class!!

The Biggest Loser Run/Walk series added some races to their schedule and they have a mud run in NYC in April! I really want to do it, but I don't want to do it alone. And I'm having trouble finding someone who will go with me. :( I'm trying to figure out why I don't want to go alone. I think it's because I don't want to be left at the end of the pack doing the obstacles by myself because while the challenge is still there, it will take away from some of the fun? I don't know. I just posted it on facebook and I'm hoping SOMEONE will want to do it with me.

And I need to focus on getting food back in control. I've been eating like a crazy person. I know that I can look to the depression/anxiety for that one, so I just need to let it go. Another problem I'm having, though, is that I can't really afford to go grocery shopping so I'm eating what's in the apartment which severely limits my healthy-ish options. Not to mention my protein sources. I do have some lentils, so I think I might just grab a few bell peppers and an onion from the corner store tomorrow and make them for this week. You know, I should just be grateful that I have food in the house to eat when I can't afford to go to the store for fresh stuff. I know everyone is not that fortunate.

I can start fresh today. All it takes is one healthy choice. :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It sounds like you have done a lot of thinking about old patterns and how they affect you. Sometimes that is the first step to creating a new pathway.
    As I read your post I feel that you are excited by the possibility of a challenge. It seems that it frightens you a bit too. Take the leap and have a blast.
    The gym is a fantastic idea. You will meet others with the same interests. I go to kickboxing classes. So much fun!! I have absolutely no rhythm so the Zumba is out.
    I see that you joined SP around the same time as me and you are still trucking! Hook up with a friend for some additional support. emoticon
    1572 days ago
  • ADF1981
    Sorry that you've been down. I know how being out of our element can throw us for a loop especially with going home and being around family and old habits. Since you were just home for the holidays, I am sure your parents will understand. Road goes both ways! Try not to stress over it. I know it's easier said than done LOL.

    Free gym membership and zumba classes sounds like a very good thing! Even if you decided zumba isn't for you, at least you would have access to the gym. I hope you can find some one to do the run with you too!

    Just remember not to stress about last month, and start fresh like LILMISSRED79 said. I get the food and money stress. Lentils are definitely a good choice and sometimes when I think about it I pick up extra items like bags of lentils or beans to keep on hand. Eggs are also good cheap protein source. Good luck this month!

    1574 days ago
    Going home has that kind of impact on a lot of people - throws them off track. You'll get back into the swing of things soon. And good news - we have more sun every day from here on out. Of course, that's been true since December 22, but now it's perceptible.

    1574 days ago
    I'm sorry that January was such a struggle. Maybe you can find a Spark buddy in your area to do the BL run with you? It sounds like a lot of fun! I'm completely addicted to Zumba, so I highly encourage you to take that free membership and check it out. Boxing sounds good too- you're so adventurous, that's great!

    When I get into a place when I can't afford to buy food, I get a little panicky. Resentful, too. I try to turn it into a competition almost- how creative can I get with what I have? How can I find awesome new ways to stay on track using these random items? Sort of like Chopped but with a SP spin! You already know my take on lentils, so I won't harp on that :p

    You're doing great. You're totally right that all it takes is one healthy choice to start fresh and move in the right direction. You got this!
    1574 days ago
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