FALLENXRUBY

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Congestion of the Mind

Friday, January 31, 2014

So yesterday didn't go exactly as planned, but I'm not going to be too hard on myself. I did binge in the evening and I only stayed on the treadmill for about fifteen minutes. I woke up feeling a little better this morning, but then I suddenly got a crazy case of the blues midday. I am seeing a psychiatrist in three weeks to consider medication. I have never taken medication for depression before because I have always wanted to go the natural way, but it's also negatively impacting so many areas of my life that I'm finally going to give it a try. Perhaps, it will help me stabilize the moods that send me in the pattern of binging.

I was just in the teacher's lounge feeling overwhelmed and lousy. There was pizza and Chinese candies. I wanted to feel better, but I said out loud that it wasn't worth it, got a cup of water and came back to my classroom to write this. I feel very proud of myself for accomplishing that.

My therapist suggested that I make little rewards for myself for going to the gym. Unfortunately, due to my tight budget (I'm saving for a down payment on a house), I can't really do this. Truthfully, food is the only "reward" I could think of also. I finally resolved that I would dip into the budget to pay for a yoga class after a couple practice sessions at home. Mikey offered to pay when he heard that. Both he and my therapist believe my real problem is congestion of the mind (my words - not there.) They think I need to meditate desperately.

I did dip into the budget today to purchase a groupon for one of those painting nights that are popular (apparently) right now. It was my first time hearing about it, but I really want to do something like that, so I went ahead and made the purchase. I really need to stick to my budget though. Rawr.

Anyway, I am going to stay positive about getting on the right path. I'm glad I'm giving myself time to adjust back to healthy living.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GYPSYGOTH
    I hope you figure out what works for you!
    I struggled with depression for about 20 years. Right now it seems to be managed by exercise and keeping busy and staying grateful rather than dwelling on the bad stuff. It is not always easy.
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    Have fun at the painting class!
    1748 days ago
  • MOMTO6CUTIES
    I rewarded myself after the first 20 pounds with a hair cut. Then I bought some jeans (at a thrift store but they looked brand new). Maybe you could afford that?

    Having a pair of jeans that were to small was a huge motivation I wanted to get in them bad.

    I hope you find out what works for your depression. For me exercise and eating right helps a lot. I know certain things trigger it so I can completely understand where your coming from. There is a natural herb you can try as well. I cant think of the name at the moment. I might pick some up for myself again.


    1750 days ago
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