Congestion of the Mind
Friday, January 31, 2014
So yesterday didn't go exactly as planned, but I'm not going to be too hard on myself. I did binge in the evening and I only stayed on the treadmill for about fifteen minutes. I woke up feeling a little better this morning, but then I suddenly got a crazy case of the blues midday. I am seeing a psychiatrist in three weeks to consider medication. I have never taken medication for depression before because I have always wanted to go the natural way, but it's also negatively impacting so many areas of my life that I'm finally going to give it a try. Perhaps, it will help me stabilize the moods that send me in the pattern of binging.
I was just in the teacher's lounge feeling overwhelmed and lousy. There was pizza and Chinese candies. I wanted to feel better, but I said out loud that it wasn't worth it, got a cup of water and came back to my classroom to write this. I feel very proud of myself for accomplishing that.
My therapist suggested that I make little rewards for myself for going to the gym. Unfortunately, due to my tight budget (I'm saving for a down payment on a house), I can't really do this. Truthfully, food is the only "reward" I could think of also. I finally resolved that I would dip into the budget to pay for a yoga class after a couple practice sessions at home. Mikey offered to pay when he heard that. Both he and my therapist believe my real problem is congestion of the mind (my words - not there.) They think I need to meditate desperately.
I did dip into the budget today to purchase a groupon for one of those painting nights that are popular (apparently) right now. It was my first time hearing about it, but I really want to do something like that, so I went ahead and made the purchase. I really need to stick to my budget though. Rawr.
Anyway, I am going to stay positive about getting on the right path. I'm glad I'm giving myself time to adjust back to healthy living.