In a Nutshell...
Friday, January 31, 2014
I have had a really busy week, yet don't actually feel I have acheived anything!
I had a visit with my daughter's counsellor regarding the suggested treatment for her OCD. Strangely (or not, I guess) they are ignoring the OCD itself and working at helping her cope with other things such as her fear of public transport, issues with mixing with people she doesn't know etc. I think the theory is that if they can have her able to function outside the house, then the stuff happening inside it won't bother her so much. The biggest problem is trying to stop the husband cracking stupid jokes about it - he genuinely seems to believe there isn't a problem in the world which isn't cured by 'banter'... interestingly, at the appointment we were given leaflets about the domestic abuse centre here in town. They seem to feel that even though he and I are split the girls and I are still subject to abuse - even that the fact I can't leave him to his own devices is part of that abuse.... trouble is, I can't argue it without sounding like the classic beaten wife - but he genuinely can't cope alone and until he can I am okay with being his carer.
I had an appointment at the youngest' school and I felt they were pushing in the same direction too - we have to have a round-the-table meeting to see if social services can offer him anything. Ideally, there would be some sort of care home for him to go into but there is no chance of that yet.
He ran out of his medicine again this week too. He doesn't seem to understand that if he uses it all too soon they won't give more. He will go through what should last a month in about a week and a half - I can get a small topup but then it's just daily texts from him for the rest of the month "get my medicine today!" ... he even text the middle daughter asking her to get it telling the girls I was ignoring him! Thing is, it's a controlled drug so even if we weren't waiting for the doctor, the kids can't get it anyway.
I also have the stress of 2 birthdays this month - youngest is 11 next week, middle is 18 next week... I have to go to the city next week for college parents' evening for the oldest and she has 3 day-long interviews and auditions over the next few weeks. I am hugely proud of her, but public transport here is a complete joke so I will have to drive her - I can't take my car on a long trip without putting new tyres on as they are in poor condition and the universities are scattered over the country. Train fares just for her will total £300 and she wants me to come to them all with her - that would be an entire month's income, leaving absolutely nothing for bills and food. I don't think she is seeing how proud I am of her, because I am buckling under the stress of finding the money I need and wanting everything to be good for her.
Oh, and the job I was most hoping for I had an email to say I didn't get it... annoyingly it's the only one of the 17 I applied for over the last couple of weeks I have heard anything about. Trouble is even if I get a job now I won't get paid before I need the money for the trips...
BUT... I lost 2lbs this week, and another inch of back fat ("My Tonia, how slim your shoulders are looking now!") half an inch of neck and an inch of calf. I counted ahead and if I continue to lose 2lbs a week I will be at 146 by my birthday, so I need to grab an extra one somewhere to hit that target - although my 5% target is pretty much in the bag (One chicken, two chickens...) So on that front I am feeling really good about things.
Now off to my swimming session - hoping for good things there this week!