So... I guess I have an eating disorder

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

I have a strange relationship with food. I'm very interested in natural health and wellness, which is obviously closely tied with fruits, vegetables, grains, healthy fats, etc., but I'm also very addicted to sweets and snacky foods. I used to sit with a guy I worked with every day at lunch, and he often joked that I was both the healthiest and unhealthiest eater he had ever seen. I'd have a salad with organic vegetables, a bowl of seasoned quinoa & greek yogurt for lunch, and two hours later I'd raid the vending machines for candy, chips and Mt. Dew.

I often start the day with healthy foods, only to eat more snacks and candy than I should later in the day. I also often eat to the point of feeling like throwing up because I've eaten so much. But because I've never actually thrown up from eating too much or MADE myself throw up, the thought of having an eating disorder never crossed my mind. It was tonight after supper when I had a craving for sugar so bad that I filled a 1 cup measuring cup with powdered sugar and ate it with a spoon that I thought to myself, "This can't be normal. I wonder if you can have an eating disorder where you binge but don't purge".

Well, one search for "binging without purging" on Google confirmed that what I do is not uncommon, but is in fact an eating disorder. I eat "bad" foods when I'm not even hungry, and I eat them to the point of feeling sick. I use "bad" foods to cope with stress and/or depression. I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself after I binge.

So now that I know I have a problem, somehow I have to figure out how to deal with it. There's so much information out there that it's overwhelming, and I feel like nothing would help me anyway. I don't want to keep doing what I'm doing, but I don't know how to change.

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • OOLALA53
    I've had a lot of success using the No S Diet and the principles of Brain Over Binge to reduce my bingeing and emotional eating, plus completely separate ways of dealing with anxiety disorder, for over 4 years. I see you also joined the Living Binge Free team. We've got some longtermers there with some very good success, and many we try to hold the hands of while they learn the ropes. Statistically, it takes a few years to get good at negotiating food. I hope that doesn't discourage you. It really is worth the effort and time.
    1597 days ago
    Dear girl you're not alone in having thoughts like this. When bad carbs are in the house I have very little self control. So I try hard not to have them around. Hubby does most of the shopping and he's got a sweet tooth too so he's taken to hiding things so I don't have to look at them at my request. I did notice something when I read your post. You're not eating enough protein and healthy fats. When you get enough of those healthy foods you cease to have the cravings for sweets. It takes about 3 days to get that craving out of your system. I think if you add some protein to your salads ie: hard boiled egg, sliced turkey, chicken, cheese and snack on nuts your cravings for the sweet things will lessen. Also try some Greek Olive oil to your salad for heart healthy fat.When you're able to calm your cravings for sweets it may help you feel like you're in better control. Also talk to your family Dr. about seeing a nutritionist for help. You've taken the first step to recovering by acknowledging a problem. You are super brave! You can do this and all of us are here to support you. emoticon
    1598 days ago
  • JANET552
    I can attest that you are not alone. I'm like that too. It helps me to eat by the clock. Eating only when I'm hungry just doesn't work for me. I always think I'm hungry and I always think I need carbs. When I track my meals and when I focus on eating a rainbow of freggies, it really helps me. Find what works for you and do it. I don't worry about perfect, I just work toward managing that carb addiction.

    Good luck!!
    1599 days ago
    Hi. You're so courageous for sharing this. I can relate to what you said about both eating very healthy and very unhealthy foods. I'm like that too in many respects. My 'normal' eating pattern is quite healthy (even if one can debate over the definition of 'healthy foods'), but when I binge I eat a lot of junk.

    I don't think that's correct that nothing can help you. As far as I know, I qualify for BED (Binge Eating Disorder). I have sought for answers, and even though I have not conquered the problem (yet) I do feel that there is a lot of help to be found out there. The LBF forum here at SP is very useful. I also found a self help group facilitated by two women who overcame BED themselves, and that was very helpful too.
    I am now seeing an anthroposofic dietician and her insights and support mean a lot too.

    One thing I can share of what I learned through the dietician is that it is VERY important to eat ENOUGH and in particular, to eat enough during the day so you don't overeat at night. I believe that many binge eaters undereat most of the time without realizing it. The 'Diet mentality', meaning that we feel that all eating is wrong, can be very strong.
    Another thing is that regularity is very important. To wait for three hours after a meal before I eat again has been helpful. To eat at regular times and not let myself get very hungry during the day is, too.

    Just a few thoughts, sorry this got so long. Just wishing you luck on your journey! emoticon
    1599 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by SUGARBUNNIE1577