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Thursday, January 23, 2014

I've been completely off track for almost two weeks now, and it is showing. I don't weigh myself but I can tell I've gained weight. My clothes are not just a little tight, they are a LOT tight. Uncomfortably tight!

My husband started feeling really ill a couple of weeks ago. He was nauseous and had pains in his stomach. It was so intense that he could barely sleep at night, and due to worrying about him, I was not getting much sleep either. I stopped working out.....and then stopped eating healthy foods. I was just grabbing the quickest thing available, and I didn't worry about the calories. I was just worried about my hubby, and wanting him to get better. I tried to get him to go to the hospital, but he refused. Then, after almost 4 full days of pain, he said he was having trouble breathing. I told him that he was either letting me drive him to the emergency room, or I was calling an ambulance. He was furious with me, but I got furious right back at him! I told him "I have already been through being a widow once, and I'm not ready to go through it again, so get your shoes on because we're going to the hospital right now."

I'm so glad that he finally agreed to go to the hospital, because it turned out that he had a ruptured appendix, and that could have been fatal! He had surgery and was in rough shape for a while there. But finally after 6 days, he was able to come home. He's still got a lot of recovering to do, but he's going to be okay. Thank you to all of my Spark friends who kept him in your prayers!
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Unfortunately, while hubby was in the hospital, I didn't exercise at all, other than walking the halls. Plus, I was eating junk food. I admit it. Once I got my first taste of junk food from the hospital vending machine, I was hooked! I won't tell you the awful things I indulged in, but trust me...I indulged! I thought I'd lost my taste for junk food, but all it took was one bite to reacquire it! I knew it was bad for me. I knew I was putting the pounds back on, and quickly. But I didn't care. I felt like I needed to comfort myself with as much food as I could. I was soothing my worry by smothering it in sugar and fat.

Hubby is recovering well now, and I don't have to worry so much. But I feel like I've woken up the monkey...the junk food monkey! He's on my back again, and I need to fight him. I'm not going to let him turn me into a junk food junkie again, so I am going to do my best to get back on track, and start a new streak. I've taken a few steps in the wrong direction, and I've undone some of the progress I've made. But I know I can get moving in the RIGHT direction again. I am not giving up.

The food was comforting, but in the end, it was not worth the UN-comfortable way I am feeling now with these extra pounds. I'm going to get right back to work, starting today. One of my favorite sayings is "No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back." And thats exactly what I'm going to do.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    thank you for sharing
    854 days ago
    Glad you listened to your heart and stood up to him!
    1487 days ago
    Glad your husband's getting better. emoticon
    1534 days ago
    emoticon Glad you DH is recovering. Now it's time to turn back - I can relate! Thanks for sharing this great message!!
    1571 days ago
    I needed to read this today... Thanks!
    1591 days ago
    Glad your hubby is doing better - and so will you - just a little every day
    1591 days ago
    emoticon Glad he is doing better!
    1600 days ago
    Glad everything is getting better!
    1603 days ago
    Glad the SO is much better and you know you went off track, time to get back on the plan and rock it out!
    1607 days ago
    I'm glad that your hubby is doing better. I look forward to reading about his next appointment.
    1608 days ago
    isn't it amazing how addictive junk foods and sweets are? Glad you are getting back on track! You know you can do it,look how far you've come!! loosing what you put on the couple wks will be easy for you!
    1608 days ago
    I'm catching up on emails. I wasn't wondering the halls of a hospital, but am in the middle of the worst move I've ever experienced. From broken down cars to unreliable help. After 2 weeks of boxing up things and cleaning I don't have the energy to go to the gym or cook. I've eaten more fast food these past 2 weeks than I have in the past 2 years. I'm so happy things are going well for your husband. We'll both get back on track!
    1609 days ago
  • AMBER461
    I am glad your husband is doing alright. You now have to look after yourself and get back into shape.
    1609 days ago
    Thank God you pushed your husband! Glad to hear he's on the healing pass. Now take care of you!! It is so easy to grab quick comfort food. My prayers are with you during this stressful time!
    1610 days ago
    Thank God your husband will be alright! I can see why you got off track but now you know it's time to take care of yourself better again & I know you will. emoticon
    1610 days ago
    I'm so glad your husband is doing better. emoticon emoticon
    1610 days ago
    This was a truly inspirational read. Happy you didn't wait any longer than the crisis was over to get back on track. emoticon
    1610 days ago
    You are so inspiring. Worry about a loved one sure can turn us in-side-out. I fully understand. I am so glad you forced hubby to go get examined. Men are pretty dumb about their health! Bless you. You will get hold of momentum again! hang in there!


    1610 days ago
    I can relate Spark friend, I am feeling the same about now for different reasons. I am so glad your husband is going to be ok and now we have to get back on track--WE CAN DO IT BECAUSE WE ARE WORTH IT emoticon emoticon
    1610 days ago
    You are a survivor, good blog. Hope your hubby's health is improving! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1610 days ago
    1610 days ago
    1610 days ago
    The appendix thing is miserable! I had the same thing happen when I was a teenager. In the hospital for 5 days. I'm glad your husband is ok now!

    I'm with you getting back on track. I lost my job and have been seriously stress eating. So much my pants don't fit well. Back on track for me too!
    1610 days ago
    Husbands can be so stubborn. I am glad he is on the mend. When stress and emotions are high, it is hard to stay on track. You have a lot of support, and I know you can do it!

    How in the world do you get those awesome motivational boxes into your blog?

    I can't even "add emotion" it comes up as symbols. What am I missing?
    1610 days ago
  • JUNETTA2002
    You can get back on the wagon come on up there is plenty of room.
    1610 days ago
    I went through something very similiar when my husband had his appendix out. You will get right back on track.
    1611 days ago
    1611 days ago
    You are so right Pixie.....it's never too late to get back on the right track. emoticon emoticon
    1611 days ago
  • ENG_TV
    Glad things are looking up for both you and your husband. Hugs.
    1611 days ago
    glad to hear your hubby is ok! goodness that's a scare. I have been slacking for a couple of months now - back on track with the exercise for the last week but am still having trouble keeping within calories - thanks for the blog, these are reminders I need - my clothes are also tight - NOT going to go buy larger ones, no sir!
    1611 days ago
    I love these and just downloaded them into my Kindle. Wish me luck that I may print them to my refrigerator. :::sigh::: I have been having a problem doing that sort of thing..I hope that my PC is fixed soon. emoticon
    1611 days ago
    Pixie, You and your hubby have been through so much, I am happy to hear that he is ok now. As far as what you've been through with him and staying so strong, that was a very scary time and you turned to whatever comfort you could and that's okay.
    You are strong and will turn things around and will return to your warrior self! I know that you will post more blogs to inspire us all and will make progress on your goals. Just look forward and remember how much stronger this has made you!
    Hugs, Lana
    1611 days ago
    We are all a work in progress. I don't think we ever stop learning but most importantly winners NEVER give up and that is You, my friend!

    I know you will find that inner warrior and get another streak going! Be kind, be patient.

    I put some weight on during the holidays. It's way to easy to do but especially when one is so stressed and worried as you were about your husband. He continues to be in my prayers.

    . Think about how far you have come and what you have accomplished. Remember "Fall down 7X get up 8" emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1611 days ago
    I am so glad you took a stand and got your hubby to the hospital.
    If you can do that you can send the junk food monkey packing because you are obviously strong and determined.
    1611 days ago
    1611 days ago
  • MCCC75
    Hey Pixie!

    I have been so busy at work and such that I hadn'tgotten back to see what was up with your husband but I had said many prayers for you. My daughter had an emergency appendectomy when she was 19 and just home for Thanksgiving from college and she was in such pain I knew it was something major. I am so glad you husband is doing better. I loved reading your love story (congrats)......don't be so hard on yourself.....we just turn our selves back around and get back on the wagon. Take care and give your hubby big hugs!
    1611 days ago
    Wishing your hubs a speedy recovery.
    I can relate. I was on a vaction for 2 weeks. Plan wad to get back on track asap. Gained 2 pounds. Then my mom had her surgery. I ate. Emotions were fed. And Now I am up 6 POUNDS. So I still donno how to get back on track. But reading your post helped me. Made me feel that we all g9 through this.
    I really wana get bck on track.

    1611 days ago
    Pixie I am so glad that your husband listen to you and went to the hospital, men can be stubborn and think if I lay down it will go away. Sometimes we do slip up and in your case I probably would have to. Hospital food is the worst food you can eat, but just know that we have a CHALLENGE coming up and you can get right back on course. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1611 days ago
    So sorry to hear about your husband's illness. So glad to hear that he is on the road to recovery. Thank goodness that you were presistent with him. Prayers for a speedy recovery for him and prayers for strength and persistence for you as you get back on track. Be sure that you are taking care of you as you are taking care of him.
    1611 days ago
    I am happy your hubby is doing better. I sure can relate to thinking I was over certain foods and cravings, only to find myself indulging again. Pixie, this is such a hard journey. I am glad we have a place where we can be honest with one another and gbet the support we need. Know I care and I am always here for you. emoticon
    1611 days ago
    So glad your husband is better! emoticon
    1611 days ago
    I love your blog. . It's very thought provoking, and I can relate in so many ways. . Yes, we do get off the right path at times, but we know the way back. All we have to do is turn around. "Thanks" for taking the time to share!...... Your hubby is in my prayers. "Men"!
    I am in the medical profession, and know how some men can be when it comes to going to the Doctor.
    1611 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/25/2014 11:43:25 AM
    emoticon Very encouraging! Prayers going up for your husbands total recovery!
    1611 days ago
    I'm so glad your husband is going to be okay. There is nothing like a crisis with a spouse to get you off your game. I empathize. To get me started after this last derailment, I went on the DASH diet. Phase 1 is 2 weeks of cleansing yourself of all cravings. It really works. I am on day 6 and have lost 6.7 lbs and feel great. No cravings. Sometimes the discipline of a planned out 2-week stretch is what works for me. Good luck, hang in and remember we are all in this together! emoticon
    1611 days ago
    I do the same thing to myself. You are not alone. I diet, exercise and when I get about 2 pounds from my goal weight, I start eating more and start exercising less, and before I even know it, I'm right back where I was or worse. Why the hell do we do that after all the positive goals we made? Stress, lack of enough love for ourselves, I don't know. If I knew, it wouldn't happen. All I know is we have to love ourselves enough to want to keep our bodies, the bodies God gave us perfect, healthy. So let's get off our butts and do this! Don't even bring bad food in the house. If your husband likes cookies and you can't change that, buy him ones that you don't like. I love pomegranate and find that a spoon full of them is better than a piece of candy. Good luck all. emoticon
    1611 days ago
    Those first 'detox' days back off the junk can be tough, but you've got this. They too shall pass and you already know you have it in you to work a solid plan. Best to both of you in the rest of his healing phase.
    1611 days ago
    I can totally relate. My DH had a bad appendix. I kept telling him to go to the company clinic, for several weeks. He kept saying he would go, but then something would come up and he would make an excuse for not going. Finally, a co-worker mentioned that they had had a similar problem while in Nigeria (We were in Angola at the time) and it was her appendix. Well the next day he went to the clinic. He was not allowed to come home. He had to stay overnight in the clinic getting antibiotics. The antibiotics did the job fortunately. He couldn't get a seat for a flight to South Africa (4 hours away) and he did not want to risk a 14 hour flight to Houston. He was mis-diagnosed in South Africa. They told him he had cancer. So he returned to the US two days later. I was flown back to the US too. Then it turned out it was not cancer, but the bad appendix. He still has his appendix. And I still have a few extra pounds from that episode. Well, maybe not that episode since that was in 2009. But I still gain weight when life throws me a curve ball. After 5 years I am still trying to figure out how not to go crazy with the curve balls. I have gotten better, but I am not cured yet. Thanks for the reminder that life happens and we need to make plans for dealing with it, either before or after.
    1611 days ago
    Oh my God. Thank God your husband is OK. You know, I stress eat too. Especially the sweets. It is like they overtake your entire being. I guess you take everyday as a challenge and be grateful for what we have. Just move forward, and do not look back. I feel blogging and being involved with bloggers like all of you really helps your confidence. Hang in there. We can do this together.
    1612 days ago
    1612 days ago
    Oh Pixie, I'm so sorry that you and your DH had to go through this, but thank GOD that you were able to save his life, for that's what you did with your foot-putting-down.

    That monkey made a reappearance, but now you've seen what damage he brings with him. That monkey is just as bad for your health as you appendicitis, it's just more insidious.

    Back on the health-wagon for both you and your DH - hurray. {{{hugs}}}
    1612 days ago
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