You are enough
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Wow. I've snacked this evening, even after telling myself that a yummy & filling 3 veggie supper was just right. I've been at the computer for a couple of hours, tweaking and adjusting my resume and a cover letter for an online job application. My current job provides a paycheck and health insurance, but as time goes on I am finding it harder and harder to walk in to the office in the morning with any thought other than the hope the shift will fly by and end soon. Not a good place to be mentally. Its not contributing to my well-being, and I try to avoid thinking about it.
Anyway, last week I did one of my occasional halfhearted searches for other opportunities in this area. And one job, that I would absolutely LOVE to do magically appeared. I've been stewing, praying and biting my lip about it ever since. I know that I have good experience. I know that I would be a good candidate. but I also know that I am a complete introvert when it comes to "networking" and making connections that might help. I also know that I have no family connections or old school classmates or friends from being a marching band mom that might help. I know that many others, with more education, better experience and stronger networks have gotten the other jobs I have been applying for the last 2 1/2 years. All I have is me. and since the day I lost a job I thought I was excelling at 2 1/2 years ago I have not had any confidence that me is worthwhile.
So. I snacked. I typed, deleted and typed some more. Finally I looked at the clock and decided it was now or never: if I didn't apply tonight I might not apply at all. If kept stalling and applied late at night the timestamp on my application would give me away as a desperate crazy person who never sleeps and cancel any possibility of an interview (yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds, but isn't that what we do to ourselves? It's what I do! )
Hit send. Done. time to log in to SP then get to bed. and what did I find on my start page? in the upper left corner? in plain old black and white?
You are enough.
yup. that's what it said. and now I am sitting here feeling AMAZED that SP randomly generated exactly the message my heart needed. I am enough. my resume might not be enough to get me an interview when compared to the dozens of other resumes submitted, but I am enough. I am smart enough, kind enough, curious enough, caring enough and crazy enough. and stubborn enough to keep trying. trying to spark, trying to get healthier in body and spirit, trying to find a job that is better for me.
I am enough. I'm going to add it to my Goal Board so I remember. Add it to yours too, because it's the truth!