350,000-499,999 SparkPoints 391,893

From Driven to Driver!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I've noticed another change in my thinking since beginning my re-set two weeks ago.

First, a confession about a bad-old-habit I picked up along the way. Despite knowing logically that it is the easiest thing in the world to out-eat any workout, witness many long bike trips and events where I torch hundreds, perhaps THOUSANDS of calories yet still gain weight, I still carried that fallacy with me and allowed it to PROPEL me toward a workout compulsion where nary a day would pass without some intense cardio. Even knowing that it wouldn't compensate for the calories I consumed I would take on crazy thoughts about how if I didn't get this workout in I would balloon even WORSE than I might otherwise and hey, I tried to sell myself: maybe, just MAYBE I might pull it off and cancel all those unhealthy calories I ate!

Now that isn't necessarily all a bad thing: I've acquired a pretty rock solid habit and approach to exercise and for that I'm grateful.

However here is my latest morph: I've noticed during my workouts over the past two weeks an increasing sense of ease and calm. An absence of the element of desperation which would creep into past workouts which would sometimes compel me toward extending my limits and capabilities.

Instead, now when the right song comes along and I'm just inspired by the mood, words and what my body can do, I THEN push myself toward more intense efforts.

I'm finding that taking the desperation, the compulsion off the table leaves room for other healthier experiences:

---such as gratitude for what I've accomplished and a recognition of the good that has come from my old, less-than-healthy thinking.

---such as greater self-acceptance and appreciation for where I am on my journey, for what I've learned and have yet to learn.

---such as confidence in myself that I am acquiring such terrific self-knowledge about what works for me...and what DOESN'T!

Instead of feeling so DRIVEN, I am finding myself increasingly in the DRIVER'S seat, setting the course for my life and following Mark Twain's advice in one of my favorite quotes of all time:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Viva la SPARK!


ps...oh yeah...no drum roll needed as my food choices are locked in and continue to pay off: 3 more pounds down for a total of 13 pounds since beginning my re-set, averaging nearly a pound a day.

pps...additional thoughts summing up important changes in my core beliefs in response to WATERMELLEN's excellent latest FatLoser blog:


Here are a few of my changes in core beliefs:

Numbers are bad...numbers are GOOD

Tracking is bad...tracking is GOOD

Workout to burn those calories...workout to enjoy my body

g, self-valuing

I can’t control my food choices…I am in charge of my food choices

Plus I have locked in a morning meditative pattern which includes other vital new "lessons" which I am planting for myself.
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