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As an adult.....

Tuesday, January 21, 2014 is very interesting to go back to school. Half my teachers are around the same age as me where the other half are older. Thankfully I have yet to come across a professor that is younger than me... But all in all this whole going to college thing while I am a Mother in my 30's is very interesting. Over half the students are nearly half my age or just never been out in the real world. It's funny when the professor's tailor their lectures to those younger makes me feel old. But I am setting a good example for my kids and that is something important to me. Especially right now cause one of my classes is History because I was never very good at history. Because of that and the Accounting course the kids see that Mommy even has hard homework or has to take classes that she doesn't like. But more importantly I have a schedule. I have days that I have class at a certain time and I have home work that needs to be done before that class. I have a purpose again.

There are plenty of things that need to be done here around the house and I should have been doing them but due to my depression I can't seem to find the motivation to get off my butt and do them. I know that that sounds like an excuse and it is but it is also a fact. I used to say that for some reason I can't seem to get off my butt and do what needs to be done but it has been pointed out to me that it is the depression that is doing that. I am on medication so that is half the battle. Now I just need to get my mind wrapped around getting it done. Going to school for this semester gives me a purpose so maybe as the semester goes on I will start to feel better and thus will get off my big ol' butt and get stuff done that needs to be done. Especially since a move is looking likely in the future.

We discovered many different things this week in therapy about my depression. For one it is more severe than we thought. Or rather it is more severe than I thought she may have known and just never pointed it out all the symptoms that I am having. Either way now I know. And like I said I am on medication so that is half the battle. The other half is getting Queen Bee (as one therapist made me call my brain) to get on board and straighten up...or at least walk a straighter more understandable line.
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    1604 days ago
    It is good that you are getting busy in school. That way depression does not have a complete hold on you. You are going to do just fine. What ever you do, do not give up!!
    1608 days ago
    I struggle with depression, and see how it;'s really related to my weight. I did better when I had school, or some mental challenge at work. Lately I've been calling in sick to my boring job, and letting the house chores pile up. While it;s worse if I am not on my med, med are not the only answer. I need to up my Vit D, and get a little sunshine each day.
    1608 days ago
    I always suffer from winter depression. It hasn't been as bad this year as we moved to Denver and it is literally sunny every day. But when those days hit hard and I just want to stare out into space. I do the first step, NOT turn on the TV or computer. Then I turn on music, it can be from my Ipod or just Pandora, and there are days where I want to listen to the same music saying what I'm feeling, and though it is "depressing" music, it also makes me not feel alone. Then I just set one small goal, "do the dishes", "do the laundry" some days it is even "shower".

    Sometimes retraining "queen bee" is not putting yourself in a dark place for her to be Queen, let in the light, and it may take a little while, but soon she will start to dance.
    1608 days ago
    keep on keeping on
    1608 days ago
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