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Watching Old Family Videos Without Feeling Like Crying: NSV

Sunday, January 19, 2014

I have spent a lifetime of being overweight with periods of being thin. I would carefully weed pictures of me out of the family celebrations as much as possible. Frankly I disliked looking at myself being overweight and I was embarrassed and sad to look at them.

Now I have reached my goal and have maintained it for over two years.

My husband decided to compile all of the old family videos of our kids into an epic DVD. He proudly showed me his results. While I loved seeing my children as babies, toddles, children,
I zoomed in on shots of me. With astounding accuracy I recognized the dark clothes bought to hide weight gain, the skirts worn in the summer as I could not wear shorts comfortably. I watched the weight gain from the birth of my twins to through the birth of my daughter and third son. I had four children under the age of 5.

Here is my NSV. I looked at myself and did not feel the urge to cry like I have in the past. In fact I thought, " That is who I was then. I am not that person now." I felt strong and resolved.

So I was able to comfortably and positively watch my old overweight self. I did notice that despite my weight problem, I was very happy raising my children and loved being around them.

I am not going to have my husband edit out my most overweight shots. I accept this part of my life. I celebrate my present life of being at goal weight and maybe I will get my husband to make a current DVD to update the new me!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    wonderful. I got tears in my eyes. I totally understand. I gained half of what I lost back and i have it. Looking at yourself fat when you are fat is hard.

    Being proud of where you are- one of the best NSV!
    1500 days ago
    I was fit when my children were born and small and teenagers . Then as I hit into my menopause that was when I became the blimp. I was looking the other day of pictures when I was on the back of my oldest Granddaughters water machine. I was on the back and she was ready to drive over the waves with me. A joy ride as she knows I love water and fast boats and would love the water ski do. Oh my what a butt I had looking at the picture. I thought how could I have had my hubby take that picture before we set out. One thing I was sure enough padded for those waves. oh did I look like that in-front of my teenage kids i thought looking at the pictures. Oh my.

    Well I am 72 now. I have thinned down allot. Even more since the profile picture I have up. I have loss that butt ya! Oh I never want to look like that again . How unattractive it looked. My opinion.

    My daughter tells me. Oh Mom you were a trooper to even get into the bathing suit and get on
    the water-ski do. Plus swim at the beach with us.

    Never the less.

    She can say that. She was not me. Yet I was truly a happy Grandmother then and still am. Grinning always from ear to ear. I will smile all the more if I can get to my goal and keep it as long as you are doing.

    I cannot look at those pictures again of me. Maybe I will when I get to my goal.

    Thank you for your blog. Your honesty is the best policy.
    1514 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/4/2014 10:13:03 AM
    I Spark-liked this blog....because I think it is something that al lot of us go through, or will go through. Making peace is a good thing. A very good thing. emoticon
    1523 days ago
    Oh wow. I LOVE this blog. And I am so delighted to think that you see your joy and generosity first - and then your hips - in those old videos.

    What a strong woman you are.
    1544 days ago
  • RR1_RR1
    Today help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past. I can accept with gratitude, all that has brought me to today. -Melody Beattie
    1553 days ago
    I like that you found self acceptance in your old photographs. Raising four children is something to be very proud of and those family photographs should bring you joy! Thinness alone doesn't bring happiness. It sounds like your inner and outer joy have become one. So happy to hear about your great progress and continued growth!
    1553 days ago
    This is just amazing and I'm starting to understand this feeling too. I'm no longer embarrassed by old pictures of myself when I was overweight or obese. That was part of my past and is not who I am now. And like you, in spite of the challenges posed by being so overweight, I was generally still pretty happy.

    Love this NSV!
    1554 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Good to look back!
    1555 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1555 days ago
    Very inspiring post/blog! emoticon
    1556 days ago
    This was a great blog to read.
    The new, slimmer you - accepting and appreciating the larger you.
    You have lost more than the weight; you've also lost all those negative feelings you could easily have felt - but didn't.
    This sounds like a healthy self-love.

    1556 days ago
    Wonderful trends...! Accepting ourselves, warts & all...I no longer beat myself up over waiting all these years to pick up the reins of my life. Rather, I look back on what I've gone through as necessary steps which have prepared me for where I am now.


    ps...thx for your blog support!
    1556 days ago
    I am really proud of you! This is an EPIC NSV! I really, really mean it.

    My husband told me a few years ago that if I died first he would have no pictures of me -- it would be like I never existed.

    That made me so sad and I stopped giving him such a hard time about taking pictures of me and I stopped getting rid of them.

    Thank you for sharing this story.
    1557 days ago
    Good for you! emoticon
    1557 days ago
    Raising four kids is no easy job and I'm sure all of us mothers agree on how easy it is to actually let the pounds pile up through motherhood. But you were there, enjoying the process of creating healthy and happy young adults. So, you can be proud of yourself for many reasons while watching this DVD. Making a better and healthier version of yourself is definitely one of them!
    Beautiful blog!
    1557 days ago
  • GINA180847
    I am so happy for you that you can accept the flawed you as just part of the process. After all would you appreciate being in good shape if you hadn't been so out of shape at one time? 4 children under the age of 5 .......Yikes!
    1557 days ago
    So proud of you!!
    1557 days ago
    Awesome NSV! Your victory is heartwarming. Sounds like a big aha moment of forgiveness and acceptance. Bask in His glory and grace. So happy for you! emoticon
    1558 days ago
    You have reached that point of acceptance as a result of your efforts and your success. You can be proud of that while holding on to the realization that your weight did not define the wonderful person you are.

    You are such an inspiration to me. Thank you!!

    1558 days ago
    1558 days ago
    Good for you! As you said that was you then. Now you are healthier and able to continue doing things you want to do.

    You've made a major milestone, emotionally. You should be so proud of yourself for being able to see what a great person you were then and now. Yes, you were overweight, but you took care of your family and enjoyed time with them. I know they enjoyed the time with you, as well.

    You've come a long way baby! Now get in front of the camera and start taking new video of the new you!
    1558 days ago
    This is a wonderful NSV, seriously. Coming to accept that this was all part of getting to where we are today? Priceless! emoticon
    1558 days ago
    I'm glad you left your bigger photos in. It will make your successful weight loss obvious. Congratulations on the NSV of being able to accept that you were a different person then vs. now. " Yay" that you do not feel depressed now because of your size then.

    I have very few photos of my heavier weights to compare to now. At the time I didn't want the record, so I took the photos. Now I wish I could see the full contrast. I'm proud of how far I've come, and you've come even farther!
    1558 days ago
    I think a new DVD with your children now would be great!! It's a fantastic idea.
    1558 days ago
    well done, both accepting your weight then, getting it down now, and coping with 4 kids within 5 years of each other!
    Friends of mine had 3 kids under 5, intentionally, as they married late. An old lady took the husband, a vicar, to one side and suggested he should practise self-control!!!!!
    1558 days ago
  • THOMS1
    I used to cringe as well but, I'm way over that now. I guess we just have to remember the occasions that the pictures were taken and enjoy the memories. Have a great week. emoticon
    1558 days ago
    Not only are you happy with who you are now, you can fogive yourself and be happy with who you have always been. That is really amazing. Good for you!
    1558 days ago
    emoticon What a Great Step you have taken!! Accepting your Old Self and Celebrating the Strength and Happiness in her shows how much you have Gained along the path to the New, Healthy You!!!
    1558 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949

    At one point between my thin and fat phases, I made the conscious decision to remain fat because I read yo-yoing was not healthy. What a defeatist attitude. An example of non-critical thinking.

    After reading your blog, I thought about going back through albums and ask the fat images what it was that triggered the emotional eating at that time. Then again, that may be a waste of time as Siebold has said to let it go. Perhaps the knowledge that I'm an emotional eater is enough.

    Thank you for sharing this.
    1558 days ago
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    1558 days ago
    Wonderful! We are so much more than a number on the scale or the actual size of our body. Good for you for celebrating and accepting every stage of your journey- that is awesome. Your family must be so proud of you. I know I am! emoticon
    1558 days ago
    Love hearing your journey and how you have adjusted. Thank you for sharing b
    1558 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1558 days ago
    Beautiful! Bravo!
    1558 days ago
    Thank you for sharing your awesome NSV! It is great that having reached your goal, having two years of maintenance behind you and knowing your plan to stay at goal forever gives you a new perspective on what could have been difficult in the past. And it is very special that you realized the positive - you saw the happy and loving you rather than letting your size cloud that realization.

    Good for you! Congratulations!

    1558 days ago
  • _LINDA
    Very well done!! An awesome non scale victory!! Realizing you were a loving, happy Mom is the greatest thing! The weight is what it is, it doesn't define us. I think an update would be a wonderful thing -surrounded by your loving family as they are today!!
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    1558 days ago
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    1558 days ago
    Congrats on your major accomplishment!!! Accepting ones-self (fat or thin) IS a major accomplishment.
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    1558 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/19/2014 9:47:28 AM
    You've come a long way, and I'm proud of you.
    1558 days ago
    What a wonderful moment for you. Congratulations on your accomplishments!

    1558 days ago
    It's a positive reminder of how far you've come!
    1558 days ago
    Wonderful blog and great attitude!
    1558 days ago
    Four kids under 5, including twins? And you were a loving and engaged mother?

    You can forgive yourself for the weight then, AND you can celebrate the fit and healthy woman to whom you've now given rebirth.

    What a moving and powerful blog. So many of us were heavy when the pressures of motherhood were most overwhelming . . . we did our best.
    1558 days ago
    Accepting your body in those earlier clips freed your eyes to see the happy mom you have always been. It's hard to appreciate those cool things when we are just zooming in on our size in photos or clips. Nice NSV!
    1558 days ago
    You have acceptance of self and that is truly
    a freeing accomplishment. Enjoy the old you while
    knowing you are much happier as you are now. emoticon
    1558 days ago
    Accepting yourself, warts and all, is a remarkable accomplishment. Congratulations! I hope ( no-intend) to join you in the future. Along the way, I'll continue to work toward my goal-and rely on successes such as yours for inspiration.
    1558 days ago
    You should feel strong, maintaining as long as you have. I hope that will be me one day. I look at old photos of myself, and I think, "is that really me?" It's like a different person.
    1558 days ago
    1558 days ago
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