Lose the Scale.

I figured out one of my problems with losing weight. It's the number on the scale. Every single time I try to change my life, I become obsessed with the scale. I know people say not to weight yourself more than once a week, but I couldn't resist the urge. Like my inability to resist eating a ton of potatoes or that juicy cheeseburger, I had become a slave to what the scale said. It dictated everything about who I was and how I felt. If the scale said I had lost a huge amount, then I was doing great and I felt like I deserved to be happy. If I had a low number, it meant that I wasn't good enough. A gain meant I was a failure, and I might as well not try to be any better. That scale has held me back too many times.

So, there will be no scale this time around. I don't really care what the scale says anymore. I finally realized that the results of my lifestyle change will come in the form of how my body and mind feels. I haven't weighed myself since September, and don't plan to until my yearly physical.

I've been eating good healthy foods. I've been trying to move around a bit more, taking better care of myself, and envisioning what my life will be like after I become healthier. It has kept me positive, and much more focused.

I've started a little collection of pictures of clothing that I want to buy once I'm smaller. I try to envision what I will look like in each outfit. I imagine myself feeling confident and empowered.

I'm thinking of long term activities that will help keep me more active. I have a membership to a gym, which is great, because I really enjoy swimming. I'm also going to try to start bowling. I love to bowl, even though I'm bad at it. Who knows, maybe I will improve and someday be on a league.

I've always wanted to learn to play tennis, too. That would be further out into the future, ans I'm not physically fit enough to do it now, but I hope to do so someday.

I'd also LOVE to become a runner. I hated running as a kid. I was always jealous of those people that were good at it. I was unbalanced and clumsy. I ran slow. It was embarrassing. I hated people to watch me run. I'm going to stop letting my life be dictated by what other people think of me. I'm going to run like no one is looking.

I'm going to stop letting outside forces make me give up, and let my inner voice lead me to victory.