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Miles to go before I sleep.........

Friday, January 17, 2014

Not too long ago, a friend called me before she was to leave for her weight watcher meeting. She was thinking of wearing her shoes for her weigh ins. My immediate response was, "Why? Are you trying to mask your gain?"

She become VERY defensive towards me. She wanted to know why would I ask her that?


Because all week long she kept telling me that she had to get her eating under control. Her snacking was nonstop and she was making unwise choices.

That is why.....

Our conversation was then cut short.

This am a customer came in. We have known him for YEARS...before he was married...... then married.....and now has three kids. He has gained so much weight that it is clearly noticeable. He looks like a know the tiny toy? I love him to death and I personally don't care....but today.....he mentioned that he had to get new clothes and they were bigger because of his height. He informed me that his torso is longer than his legs.

I kept a straight face.

We chatted a few and he went on his way smiling.


I was lost in thought for HOURS. I thought of my friend who is now mad at me ....and our customer.

Not that I am pointing fingers at anyone for the one I happen to point...I have more pointing back at me.

They are both clearly in denial and they play games in their minds to convince themselves to feel better about themselves. It is almost like saving face.

Me.....I am a PRO at playing games and because of that...I can see thru other's games. I do.

My friend is always posting on facebook how wonderful power foods are and that tracking is the key. Then she texts me with her daily struggles.

When I post stuff like that on facebook...I am serious. I am REALLY doing the things I say I am. When I am SILENT...that means...I am NOT doing what I should. My friend Kim figured that out about me and confronted me on that fact. I asked her how she knew? She knew because she is the same way. She recognized the GAME she herself played.

So...I was caught.

and...I laughed!

It is so amazing how many stages one goes though in obtaining a healthy life style. So many steps.

When I first joined weight wasn't to lose weight, but not to gain anymore. When I THOUGHT I was ready....I had to learn. I understood the program...but I didn't understand me. You have to MORE than WANT weight have to ACCEPT it and CHANGE....ADAPT.

I am constantly learning...growing. Sometimes I think I am a total failure myself, but then something happens and I realize just how far I have come.


At this week's meeting a member expressed that her downfall was pizza. She cannot stop. In her family, they cannot agree on what they like on their pizza, so they order a pizza for everyone with their choices. HENCE...more pizza is left over....more pizza for her.

I raised my hand.......I had a suggestion.......

I told her that we order ONE pizza and have them make half my way ...and the other half my husband's way. It was a good solution....and the member thought about it...and could see that option.

ME.....I realized......that I wanted to lose weight/eat better but didn't want to let pizza I came up with a solution...that I NEVER REALIZED was pretty smart! At the meeting...I realized......I am doing better than I thought....that I am too hard on myself. I have come a long ways.

I truly believe that another problem that lies within TIME. We want results NOW. Some are in a better place mentality and get there faster than others. (like me).

Yet..I have never given up. When I think I have learned it all......know it all......I am struck with the cold reality, I have more to learn and more to change...adapt.

I am back at sharing my food with my friends as well as my fitness goals for the day.

I smile silently to myself once again....

One friend on face book...does WATER WEDNESDAY. Every time she posts the word...FLUSH...we are to drink 8 ounces and hit like. Now during the day....even though it is not Wednesday....instead of a sip....I take a BIG drink and think....FLUSH!

AND to me..that is a FUN game...a game that actually BENEFITS me POSITIVELY.

My games .......are slowly ceasing and in their place...are ways I have adapted....or accepted.......

and...still....I am haunted in the REVELATION......


BUT..instead of being totally afraid ........

I FLUSH as I start to walk that never ending road.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Mary, we all have our games and that is just another habit. We are all in the process of change, some faster than others. It is good that you share what you know and recognize your own faults. Pray for the ones who can not yet and hopefully they will grow also. Keep pushing. TC
    2560 days ago
    I think I've held back a long time in being vocal on things because I see the games, but know that I have my own and stay silent. Doesn't help me or anyone else to operate that way and I've shed a few "friends" along the way because of things I've said. Finally at a place where I'm a peace with it though which is probably why I'm finally getting healthier. emoticon
    2563 days ago
    Very thought-provoking, Mary!
    2565 days ago
    Oh the games we play!!! Sometimes we try to fool our selves but we are really just making an excuses for not doing what we know we need to do.
    Love the Flush idea. I need to start doing that. emoticon
    2566 days ago
    True, true, true.
    2566 days ago
    I am forever grateful that every day is a learning experience! I treasure all the miles to go I have before I sleep! Take it all in stride and be glad your games are now healthy game and that you have great advice to share.
    2567 days ago
    WOW! So much I want to comment on here....LOL

    Let me start with the pizza suggestion~~hubby & I do the same. He likes Hawaiian~ I like meat so we get a half & half!
    When I want a better pizza...we make our own here at home. But it is still a half & halfer...LOL...because he likes mushrooms...I hate them...I love chopped veggies...he hates I make my *4 PP * pizza dough....and once spread on the pan....I separate it in half...
    Hubby tops his with his stuff...I top mine with my stuff....LOL

    I LOVE the *FLUSH* idea! Read somewhere that if we drink a glass of water *every* time we do a toilet run....we would get in * glasses no problem! But have never tried that.....
    SO now...starting tomorrow...Every time I FLUSH...I will think of your Blog and *DRINK* LOL

    A friend of mine here has about 5 to 10 lbs to go for the weight she wants to be....So she has decided to get on her scales night....fully dressed....with shoes....and record that weight. Then she is going to go from there for her goal weight and when she gets to goal with the night/dressed/shoes/ weigh ins....
    She will go back to nude/first thing in the morning/weigh-ins and get her head in gear for maintenance! LOL

    Your *friend* who goes to WW's and leaves on her shoes though is only fooling herself! No one else. To be mad at you for telling the truth to her is not very *grown-up* of her at all! None of us want to hear the truth....but grown ups are not teenagers and should be able to handle it better! And from what I read were not being mean...just trying to help her see what she was doing to herself.

    Love your *male* friend's reasoning for the bigger clothes! LOL

    Reminds me of the fridge magnet that I had before that says....

    Great Blog....and YES Mary...YOu have come along way! I am so proud of you!
    I want to follow in my *little sister's* footsteps!
    emoticon emoticon
    2567 days ago
    I totally understand
    2567 days ago
    I love that! So many of us do play games like that. I've been just as guilty as the next guy. Sometimes I am able to be honest with myself, other times i play a game. It's all up to each of us whether we choose to succeed or hide in our games.
    2567 days ago
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