Time for an update! Yay!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Well, here we are. Halfway through January. How are your resolutions holding up? I can't say that I've done very well with mine, but you know what? I don't care. I'm not going to let myself feel pressured by the rest of society who didn't stick to theirs either. I am in a huge transition period as it is. Honestly, the last thing I need is added pressure to "revolutionize my whole life based around a few feel good ideas that I came up with during a holiday I dislike."

So I haven't been eating like I should, nor have I been following through with my exercise program. The fact is, I have been trying. Maybe not consistently. Maybe not for the right reasons all the time. But I am trying.

In fact, I'm seeing improvement already. Getting up two flights of stairs is easier than it was a month ago (even with about 80 pounds of groceries.) I've been slowly working on my flexibility, and while I've skipped a workout or two and missed a few days, I have loved my DailyBurn workouts. Best of all, I have officially...

LOST TEN POUNDS! Ughhh it feels so good to see the scale slip past 220. I may not do everything right, but damn it I'm on my way.

The scary thing is though, that the weight loss may simply be a result of my stress/depression. Truth is, I'm having a hard time eating. No appetite, and a huge lack of energy to make food is a bad combination. I want to eat healthy stuff. I do. But if I can't even summon the energy to make a pack of ramen?

I'm worried that when I get a job, and money starts flowing in again, and a good 90% of my stress lifts itself from my shoulders, the weight will take its place. Only not on my shoulders. More around my stomach and hips, and thighs and calves.

As a quick side note, I honestly have seen the most change in my calves. From my knees down, it's like a whole new me. I love it. I've always thought I had good legs, and aside from my slight chunkier than I'd like thighs, I'm good with my legs. Just wait until I trim down my thighs.

Anyway, it is a very real concern. I hope that I don't have to wind up stuck behind a desk again, because that's part of what got me here in the first place. Yet, being on my feet all day with no reprieve drove me crazy too. I need a good happy medium.

I've felt like I haven't had anything going for me for a while. My relationship is, at times, strained. My health has plummeted to an all time low. My unemployment is nearly tearing me apart. All I need is for one thing to go right. That's all.

And as much as everything else is important to me, not having headaches or spending time with my boyfriend won't pay the bills. Time to take all of what I do have and pour it into finding me a job. Wish me luck :)
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