Day 4 of eliminating gluten
Thursday, January 16, 2014
A new beginning, a new day.
I am plagued with headaches it seems. But the scale is moving downward and that is cause for good feelings inside of me. I am bubbling it seems only after a few days.
Today I am up before 7, I have made mushrooms, onions and eggs, I was starving and wanted to make good food choices so I am fueled for a while.
I may still be half asleep but I think I had an emotional breakthrough last night.
I read a spark article talking about reasons why people self-sabatoge and I discovered I am worried that my husband will feel threatened if I am skinny, people of the opposite sex will show interest, am I deserving of having it all? The doubts are huge and the will power not so much. It was a great article causing me to self reflect and also to see that as a child my available food choices were limited by my mother and thus I want to have all the junk I didn't get at home in my own home, or so I thought.
It makes me feel terrible (bread and pasta) because once I consume it I am lethargic and I want more 2 pieces of toast is not enough, I could eat pasta for breakfast lunch and dinner and have seconds because I can't get enough.
It also triggers me to binge eat, what a discovery. Not sure if anyone else feels the same way. My mom thinks you should eat what you want in moderation and she has no problem with self-discipline not to mention her appetite is not what it used to be.
I on the other hand can't think straight after I eat gluten. Its like a drug. Meal plans are proving to be a bit tough only at breakfast but so far I have had eggs three days in a row.
Keep at it, don't give up. I keep telling myself, realize your dreams, be comfortable in your own body. My weight does not define me. I feel better when I am active and losing weight.