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Letting Go and Living in Celebration

Monday, January 13, 2014

I'm warming up and gathering speed as I travel down the runway to takeoff for my 5th anniversary of achieving a healthy weight after more than 5 decades of being overweight or obese. The date is still 8 weeks away. Am I overdoing this?? Yeah, maybe, but it is me. I'm happy living in a state of celebration!!

Reviewing my old blogs has been fun, too. Wish I'd been blogging during the time I lost the weight, but I didn't start until I came to SparkPeople and was getting close to my final goal weight. Okay, look at what I was blogging mid-November 2009:

* I told of knee pain on one day, but it was already much better the next day. I really hadn't remembered that knees had been an issue that recently. I've been running since January 2011 and have had no knee pain since then. I faithfully did the exercises in the SparkPeople article about strengthening and stretching knees and I'm sure it helped!

* I celebrated that granddaughter Natalie was potty trained. Well, now it is Gwen, her 3 year old sister. She's not had an accident in several weeks. Hubby has agreed to new carpet or flooring after this accomplishment. Time to start shopping!

* I shared that I had planned a whole day of eating and proposed to do a month of meal plans and shopping lists. I still do my best eating when I've planned ahead. I have made some meal plans, but they could still be improved.

Reading back, the blog that affected me the most I titled, "Regrets, I Have a Few...":

"Eating healthy feels so right now. How I wish I had found this lifestyle years ago. How would my life have been different?

"Oh, who knows. With more confidence I might have made more mistakes! LOL None of us can go back. So let's go forward, smarter and wiser.... "

But now, have I gone on "smarter and wiser"? There are times I still wonder what my teenage and young adult years would have been had I figured out how to eat healthy decades earlier. There are times I still want to blame my mom, and dad, for raising me fat. I recognize that there is nothing to be gained from such self-indulgent dreaming. There are times I still feel like I missed out. Well, so be it. This year a teenage family member who was so fit and beautiful made some bad mistakes that will affect her the rest of her life. It touched me in many ways. Of course, I want to support her now, but I also want to use this lesson to help me once and for all let go those things, those years, I cannot re-live. My life might not have been any better had I been a healthy weight my whole life. So, over 4 years ago, I knew I needed to let go this resentment and regret, but I'm still working on it!!

So, thanks, SparkFriends, for letting me share and vent. I truly enjoy living in a state of celebration of my health and fitness, even if I didn't get to it until late in life!!

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