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Monday, January 13, 2014

WEll I just had a major wolfie attack.
Today was a day for chores. Paperwork, billing, filing, charting, end of year stuff for taxes etc. That was my goal today was to finish all of that paperwork and get the christmas decorations put away.
I was trying to avoid the computer soberistas chat site all day and just checking in quickly at my other forums email, face book. quick checks but try to stay out of the chat room. So I did that up until around 9pm. That is when jeff left to have a beer with his friend, I finished watching downton abby and the wolfie started to howl....why was I not drinking anyway?.... I proved that I am not an alcoholic over the holidays with flying colors..... I could go to the store and pick me up some of my favorite drinks.... it is only 3 blocks away.... No one would have to know...people relapse all of the time, why couldn't I. But then I would have to start at day one all over again and have to tell Belle. So I went in the kitchen and drank 24 oz of diet cranberry juice mixed with water, gulped it down and poured a half cup of jelly bellies to munch on. Was going to text my therapist but decided that I would try it on my own and went back to charting. At 9;30 the wolfie who is now just my pleasure seeking side of my self is howling to go to the chat rooms. I put headphones on and listened to delila.
FU wolfie!
So I finished all of my paper work stuff and went directly into the living room to start taking down the christmas decorations. I finished doing that around 11pm. Will put the tree up in the attic tomorrow so I left it lite one more night just little white lights so pretty.
When jeff came home he scared me because I did not hear him come in.
I made it.
I had used chewing gum earlier, I used cranberry water, I had a therapist to text if I needed her, a friend to call if I needed to, I used my voice out loud to scare wolfie away, sweets to keep my mouth busy, distracted myself and got accomplished what I set out to do. I used my tool chest.
I feel quite proud of myself. I have my friend here that I can share my story to and eventually I will swing by the chat rooms for a very brief hello if anyone is in there. I will post this blog at sevral places to tell my story and get support from all of you wonderful people.
So thank you for reading and responding.
bizi who is getting ready to chat for a few before bed.

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