A tough few months
Thursday, January 09, 2014
Today's motivation: I've slipped into a pretty bad depression and have gone into self destruction mode, I went on an Ice cream every night, soda everyday, stopped caring what when into my head hole mass destruction. I quit running, working out... caring! Part of it being because of my health issue and the conic pain & fatigue I'm having, part of it because so much other crap was going on in my head. Taking care of myself became too hard. I've put on 10 lbs my clothes are tight and I have no "Fat Clothes" to fall back on and refuse to buy bigger clothes again. Yesterday on a walk with the Hubz he was royally pissing me off, not even a mile into it and all I had heard the whole time was bitching. I finally stopped and looked at him and told him I was done. I wanted to go home, and I would find someone tomorrow to go with or go by myself. It actually ended up being a good time with him...But on my way back I was looking at my shadow and I started to cry. I have seen that shadow before, I watched it change and get smaller and not jiggly. I worked hard to make that shadow change. And today my old shadow was back. I took a picture of it, so I can remember I've come too far to let this shadow back in my life.