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I Finally Get It!

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

After I had achieved my goal weight, set my safe + - 5 pound window, and settled into serious maintaining, I started to wonder why everyone was having eating issues. What is the problem here? It's easy! You eat good clean veggies and fruits, eliminate as many processed foods as possible, choose good protein, and get on with your life! Why is everyone having a hard time? And what's this food addiction and mental eating all about? Come on! Get with the program.
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As I've mentioned, my Mom passed away on Nov 7. The holidays would be a bit different this year, the first without my Mom or my Dad. Thanksgiving was quiet this year and gave me time to heal and reflect. Christmas was another story. I thought a lot about how my Mom made Christmas special for us. As she was Dutch/English, we definitely had a European flavor to our holidays. The house would always have a beautiful scent of baking and cooking.
I was food shopping for the holidays in Dec and saw my fave drink of the season, Egg Nog! I always get the low fat type and usually buy a quart, put it in the fridge and hit maybe an ounce a day through the holidays. I owned portion control. For some reason, I forgot the quart size and picked up a half gallon! Then as I walked through the store, I saw the familiar powdered sugar laden Pfeffernusse boxes out for the holidays! This cookie is a staple in a Dutch Christmas and they were always in our house for the holidays! I thought about Mom and picked up a box.

I'm the master of portion control, right? I came home and, soon after, did a shot of Egg Nog, opened that box of memories up, popped one in my mouth, then thought about my Mom and how things used to be. A few hours went by, I walked through the kitchen, and repeated the scene. Later that night, my snack include the same! And so it went. Since I shop fresh almost every day, I found I had run out of my "holiday memories with Mom," and replenished my "cookies & milk!"

In the month of December, I had gone threw 3 boxes of Pfeffernusse and 1 1/2 gallons of Egg Nog! The damage had been done! My scale started to creep up in number, resting comfortably and dangerously near the high end of my weight window! I told D about it and she flat out said it, "Emotional Eating!" Once again, my Girl was there! It hit me in the face like that first cold plunge before a Triathlon swim leg! I was doing it big time! I* probably knew it all along but buried it! I realized the connection with my Mom! " I finally get it!"

This morning, I went on the scale and I am feeling good in many ways. I do control my body. I am vulnerable. I can fall! I need to stay focused. The most important things about this all is that I am so aware of the dangers of emotional eating now, and am sensitive to others who share these times on SparkPeople! Lessons learned!

I share this openly! I've received praise and love for accomplishing great goals in the last few years. I've motivated and inspired so many! I'm thankful and blessed. But I want everyone to know we all face the same challenges! I'm accountable! I put my name on it! And, on SparkPeople, we go through this journey together. becoming more educated and aware on a daily basis. We need to stay "plugged in!"

Thanks for taking the time so I can share this with you all. Know we are on this journey together!
Much love, Monty

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PDQ1203
    1566 days ago
    Thanks for sharing your Holiday experience. You have come so far. And I know this episode of back-sliding will not hurt you in the long run. Nip it in the bud!
    1566 days ago
    WOW Monty, I guess I am very emotional too because I had tears reading your post.
    You have great support starting with Dee and of coarse Spark People. You recognized the emotional eating and quickly snapped out of it. Way to go!

    emoticon emoticon

    Sharon emoticon

    1567 days ago
  • BARBIE1967
    Oh, Big hugs to you. You always seem to know what I'm dealing with and have just the right word for me. For one thing maintenance has been hard because I was only allowing a 3 pound over or under window. My kids are growing up so fast with the boy 9 and the girl 16 now so one of the few things we do together is bake and sample. That plus the cold and rain keeping me indoors made a double whammy. Thanks to you will look at it as a learning experience and move on.
    1567 days ago
    Thanks for sharing. Yep holidays have their dangers. For me it is Stollen and then there was super Christmas Pudding at a friends place, home made, alcohol laden, 1000kcal in the smell alone....

    But I did manage to only eat a small portion. I did buy 3 Stollen, but 1 I gave away whole, the second I ate 2 piece and gave away the rest. The third I gave a friend and had 2 pieces (On 2 different days) at her place.
    Still I did drink some alcohol and those are the days I went over my limit. Need to just stay away from it completely. But alcohol is so common here, if you don't want any, they expect you to subsidize with soda and if you say you want water you get all kinds of pressure from people to just have 1 drink. But I know from past experience if you stay firmly on water over a couple of weeks, they kind of give up on you. So let me try that again.

    Haven't had the courage to step on the scale yet.
    1568 days ago
    Monty, as usual, you get into the "meat" of the problem and tear it apart! I'm sorry for your loss, recognize patterns in myself for many of the same issues and totally get D for telling it to you flat out!
    1568 days ago
    emoticon I have beat myself for doing the same thing until I finally gave myself a kick in the pants to turn it around. Unfortunately I gained 20 before that kick. I am back on the program and bringing it back down.
    1568 days ago
    We all "fall" at times, but the key is to get right back into the "race." I don't think anyone would fault you for a little emotional eating over Christmas. (I understand completely.) You ate, you saw, you resolved it. emoticon emoticon

    You are such an inspiration to many and this is just another example of it! It proves you are human and can overcome any bump in the road.

    Keep up the great work and stay healthy!
    emoticon Mako
    1568 days ago
    I am glad you learned from your experience what you have taught me over the past year. And as you know, I have had some stress this year.

    Yes...my scale falters quite frequently sometimes. But one of the things I actually learned from you was to enjoy my life. If it means I eat my whole box of peanut brittle because it is what we do at Christmas, then I can do this if I own it, if I stop and think about why I do it, if it is something I can live with and if it comforts me and makes me happy.

    So yes, I ate a whole box of peanut brittle, yes I had a good Christmas, no I don't regret it and it is over and done with and I moved on. One day my scale wil be the number I want, but I know it is just a number. Living a happy life is a far better journey.

    You taught me that!! You knew it all along, you just had to stop and regroup!!

    Thank you!!

    1568 days ago
    Yeah, it's funny how things can seem totally under control and then you get blindsided by something you've never seen before, eating or exercise or psychology-wise.

    , like life in general, is a game of balancing on shifting terrain. You're never done. But in a way that's a kind of interesting challenge, too. Keeping all those spinning plates in the air, dodging the different and unexpected things life throws at you...


    ...and the less time we've spent doing something the easier it seems, because we haven't seen all the different and unexpected kinds of things yet. LOL

    I suppose that's why teenagers know everything. Because for what they've experienced in their short lives, they HAVE seen everything. So far.

    1568 days ago
    I second everyone who said "thanks for being human"... I like my heroes to be human, Monty. You have always been part of that club, really... but really, really, REALLY now.

    The great thing about having friends on the journey is that we're here for one another when those times hit, offering a hand back up onto the high road. You made it through a MAJOR challenge there, buddy. Give D a hug for me!

    emoticon emoticon
    1568 days ago
    Thanks for being human! Your words are so
    beautiful said and so beautifully shared. emoticon

    Your treats were what you needed to comfort you
    at such a difficult time. What a lovely way to
    make a connection with your memories of your
    precious mom and your own childhood.

    1568 days ago
    1569 days ago
  • KERRYG155
    Sometimes it is really hard for people to understand the issues others have. I'm glad you got yours solved and are back on track. Maybe if I had had this site back in 2000 I could have gotten mine stopped and not used all these joint replacements along with my family's bad eating habits as excuses. BTW those are some good cookies emoticon
    1569 days ago
    Wow Monty, at least you know what was going on. I did the same with chocolate chips cookies. Thankfully I only make them at Christmas. Reminds me of baking with my Grandma when we were kids (and I was a fit kid). But not now. Now off to running this morning to get back in control!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon We'll get through this and back in control!!
    1569 days ago
    A good thing that you and D realized what was going on and you got control of it.
    1569 days ago
    1569 days ago
    Fantastic "Staying Plugged In" Blog, Monty! emoticon
    So glad you dealt with it... You've been there done that, and it's a thing of the past.
    emoticon with this self-realization! It takes courage not to bury it and esp to share it here with us. emoticon

    Here's to many more inspiring blogs! ~ Laura

    1569 days ago
    You recognized it for what it was, and now you've put the experience behind you. emoticon And you're lucky to have such a great partner by your side!
    1569 days ago
    Monty, I think it is great that you had the courage and awareness to quickly jump back up from this pitfall. Not lots of people can do that, You are strong and you will always be someone I aspire to.
    I am sorry to hear about your emotional holidays. You are surrounded by a loving family that cherish you, so I know that you have their support whenever you need them.
    1569 days ago
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